good & useful {day 31}

So, Proverbs 31 is {mostly} all about that woman... you know the one. 

 ~"The Proverbs 31 Woman"~

She is often tossed out as an unattainable super-woman. 

She is labeled as a product of her time ... not something today's woman could ever hope to become.

I have studied these verses quite a bit... though I am not finished. I have written about 14 verses and have 7 to go. 

[click below to read the series]

{my new "logo" for this series}

While I do understand that Solomon's mother {Bathsheba!} is giving him advice on the type of wife he should seek, I also believe that even 

~"The Proverbs 31 Woman"~

                           was not

~"The Proverbs 31 Woman"~

 from the very beginning... 

She struggled and learned. 

She desired to be good and useful.

She was an immature girl with dreams. 

She was a young married lady with lessons to learn. 

She was a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend. 

She was a sinner waiting on a Savior to be born. 

She had struggles. 

She knew hardship. 

But what set her apart... 

was her heart.

the soul's delight {day 29}

DISCLAIMER: I have no illusions that my children are perfect. Their teachers tell me when they have done wrong to prove it! ...and we have correction discussions multiple times daily. It takes W.O.R.K.  And I do realize their ARE children who require extra effort... and I have no idea how I would handle them, except that God promises to give us grace for our own trials and not another's.  And those few times I have received praises... they often come back to haunt me when we have shameful days. I fail everyday. I correct in haste with an unkind voice more often than I would care to admit. I do not train when I should {because it takes T.I.M.E.}. But every time, I know that I have a Loving Heavenly Father who is ready to hold my hand and walk me through it... one-more-time. over-and-over-again. daily.

From Proverbs 29
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. [verse 15]

Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. [verse 17]

Several times through the book of Proverbs, child correcting and training and the rod are mentioned. And it is spoken of twice in this one chapter! 

{While I do believe there is a right and a wrong way to physically punish a child, that is not the point today!}

The fact that I must give correction... I must reprove [tell them they are wrong] and train [show/tell them how to be right] my children...

that is the point.

And these two verses give the basic reasons why.

Children will not learn wisdom [how to think and act with discretion, in a way pleasing to the Lord] without correction and discipline and training. And often punishment is involved [the rod]. Reproof and correction are not punishment... just a 'time out' or spanking or whatever method is employed for punishing wrong- that is not training. Punishment alone is not the answer, but it is a vital part.

 

we must walk this path of life WITH them

As parents, we must take the time- and as a mother I have much more opportunity to do this than my husband... and often fall very short- to speak with and train our children- a kind, loving voice instructing our children what is right, how toys are to be put away, how siblings are to be treated, etc.

Truly, as in verse 15, when we leave untrained, uncorrected children all alone... the mothers are shamed- often to the point of reprimanding in anger [BEEN THERE!]. 

But when loving reproof and training have been employed by {preferably} both mother and father... those children will give rest to whomever is in charge of them, with just a soft word of correction. They will be a delight unto their parent's souls.

Others can tell when a child has had loving correction and consistent discipline [both the rod and the training, hand in hand]... because they will make comments like: "oh, your children are so well-behaved" {to which I try to reply: "They are God's gift to me!"}... or "how do you make them all behave?" {to which I just smile {and try not to crack up laughing}! most people do not really want to know that sometimes crying is involved...}

just passing by {day 27}

so, yesterday I read the wrong chapter in Proverbs! Actually, somehow, I read both the correct and the next chapter... at two separate times-{I will often read the chapter several times thorought the day}. I'm still not sure how I did that. [oh well, {smiles}] But today, I am going to share from yesterday's chapter.

He that passeth by, and meddleth with strife belonging not to him, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears. -Proverbs 26:17

When I read this verse, I was reminded of another post I wrote earlier in this 31 days, when I spoke of teaching my children to look to their own paths... and worry about their own actions and not what everyone else is doing.

While we must be aware of those around us, and the Lord Jesus teaches that if we see a person in need, then we are to help as much as in our power to do so [Luke 10; Galatians 6:10; Proverbs 3:27], our focus of each day is to be on living our own life... looking to Jesus through our own "strife." 

An example is this: I have a friend who recently had surgery. I prayed for her in the days leading up to it as well as the day of. I plan to do all I can to be available should she need help during her recovery.... but I cannot live her life for her just because I see suffering. 

She has to recover in her own time. I could meddle and cause stress on our friendship {take a dog by the ears}. 

I could make a nuisance of myself {meddle in strife belonging not to me}, but I will endeavor not to!

As well, there are often situations around us that we do not get involved with in any way... though we may be able to help, simply because it truly is not our business. 

Sometimes I will see what my husband's thoughts are about offering help; and occasionally we will try to offer aid. Most times we simply pray for whatever is going on, and wait for the Lord to take care of it. 

He always does.

Today, we enjoyed a day as a family. We had very little strife... even among the children... maybe because we all had a nap today! 

who is my neghbour? {day 26}

Thine own friend, and thy father’s friend, forsake not; neither go into thy brother’s house in the day of thy calamity: for better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off. Proverbs 27:10 {edited-from 26:10-I turned to the next chapter too soon. oops}

I used to read this verse as a teenager and then young adult and think.... Why aren't people more "neighborly" now-days? 

There were one or two houses on my street where we knew the people on a "HI, how are you?" basis... and even now, in my neighborhood, we only casually speak to our neighbors. We try to be friendly and have invited them to church and inquired about their salvation, but we have no one we would turn to in a calamity.

And I suppose this verse could be talking about our making friends of those who live near us {we certainly need to make an effort to be kind and get to know those who live around us}; but people just live such separate lives anymore, are often not even home until late in the evening, and don't really want to go to church on Sundays. 

Even when cute little kids invite them.

Then a few years after I had gotten married, journeyed to a strange city, moved into a new house, joined a new church and started to make a life... with this man for-ever-after, I realized it could be talking about something a little differently. 

Our life revolves around our church and the activities of it. And I now live very far from any family... even from the church where I grew up. 

I cannot go to my brother's house or any of my family's houses {even if I wanted to} without nearly a whole day's travel or more!

My own friend, my neighbor that is near, even my father's friend {kindred spirits through loving and serving the same God} is my church family. 

The Lord has truly blessed our little family with {-[neighbors]-} in abundance through the wonderful people who faithfully attend our church. They have encouraged us and been there for us in a myriad of ways during the years we have been here. 

My heart had a rocky start with being far away from family and the people I knew so well from childhood. I have come to realize I do not handle change well without much help from the Lord.

But now, over 9 year later, I have come to the point where I could not imagine being in any other "family." They are my neighbor that is near... and I know our family can turn to them for prayer or assistance whenever it is needed. 

That is indeed a blessing!

more dangers {day 25}

Several verses in Proverbs speak of how living in the wilderness or on a rooftop is preferable to living with a contentiuos or brawling woman... reminded me of a post towards the beginning of the {31 days}.

Just as there is something for me to learn from the "strange woman" there is something I can learn from this woman of contention. And it came up again in today's chapter.

It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house. -Proverbs 25:24

and was there a few days ago:
It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. -Proverbs 21:19

Contentious people basically look for things to argue about. They are characterized by an argumentative spirit, often creating controversy for the sake of being right. I think I've done that before.

Brawling gives the idea of noisy, squabbling, fighting people. I know I've squabbled once or twice... Angry... I suppose that doesn't need an explanation.

And I have a responsibility to teach my own girls how to allow the Lord to control their spirit and NOT be contentious or brawling or angry! Even as children.

I suppose my best defense against being a woman of contention is to study the Scriptures and find out how to ...let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. - I Peter 3:4

Because, while the context of that verse is a Christian woman's ability to have a powerful witness to an usaved husband, the principle can hold true for a Christan woman to have a powerful testimony for the worth of her saved husband to her... as well as a witness of God's place in her life to an unsaved world.

The hidden man... a meek and quiet spirit is an ornament... of great price to  God! 

building a home {day 24}

A couple of days ago [I wrote about having increase from my "oxen"] I read in Proverbs 14:1, Every wise woman buildeth her house...

And today I read a little more about building a house [home]. In Proverbs 24, I read: Through wisdom is an house builded [same as in 14:1]; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.

It is reiterated that wisdom is required to build [establish or restore] our home. As women we must seek God's wisdom in establishing anything that has to do with our home: routines, plans, even how we decorate... {I am just saying that God cares! And I love to decorate with or take inspiration from nature...}; and I know the Lord helped me with our current furniture layout [{smiles}-my husband was skeptical until it was all in place]. God cares to be a part of every aspect of our "home-building." 

But understanding is also important to building my home, as today's verse proceeds. The Lord can give insight and discretion to make decisions about everything. He can help me learn about healthy foods, better organization, scheduling activities... and explaining these things to my children. If I do not understand it, I cannot effectively teach it.

With knowledge the rooms of my home can be filled with precious and pleasant riches. Perception and skill are two words used to describe knowledge here. 

I must pay attention [use perception] to what is going on around me... my children's and husband's activities. If I am not aware of some things, my house can spin out of control quickly!

I sometimes must use or learn a skill to help me take care of my home-the physical structure AND the people who reside with me. I am so thankful my mother took the time to teach me some basics in sewing and pattern following when I was a teenager. Clothing construction is a skill that the Lord has helped me develop... and it has aided our family and others for many years.

Of course, there are many other skills that women can use to build their home wisely... And I strive to learn something about each of them: cooking, organizing, cleaning, decorating, etc. Today, I am purposing to ask God's help in learning how to do each of them wisely!

traveling thoughts {day 23}

Busy day yesterday!

In my Proverbs reading yesterday the verses that really stuck out were the first few: When thou sittest to eat with a ruler, consider diligently what is before thee: and out a knife to thy throat if thou be a man given to appetite... [verses 1 & 2]

In context, the verses go on to speak about not being envious of what others, particularly those with more, have that I do not. And I have often heard contentment when I read this passage.

But today, I saw something a little different... though in relation to contentment. I saw self-control... or temperance.  

We must have control over our appetite. Here it speaks directly of food, but we all have appetites for many things: food, books, friends, travel, money... it is all just stuff. Stuff I have a less consuming desire for when I am desiring the Spirit's control.



And here my thoughts traveled....



Temperance is a part of the Fruit that the Spirit produces our lives when we allow Him to work. [Galatians 5:22,23]

And I must exercise {allow God's Spirit to teach me!} control in my life in areas and situations that cause tension or stress. {from appetite control... hm}

Many times as a mother... my children bring tension {stress} through myriad of situations. Maybe I am in a hurry because of a lack of proper planning, and they are just pokin' along. That brings some stress! Or one of them has a melt-down for whatever reason, and I "loose" my control. 

How can my children learn what temperance is if Mommy's life doesn't have it!?

When I know that I will be a "single mom" for a few days... I get a little stressed. I have grown to rely in my husband as the better half of my brain, the more controlled disciplinarian, the more patient teacher, a part of me/us! We are a team, and we work well together. {These times also give me a burden to pray more for my single parent friends!}

And while that is wonderful and in God's design for husband and wife to become knit together like that, I must never loose sight of God's working and growing my own life as an individual... and that as an individual, I must learn temperance. I must allow the Spirit to bring control and calm into my life, not my husband.

I suppose my thoughts took an interesting route to get here, but yesterday {and today! and probably many tomorrows...} I am desiring the Spirit to produce a control in my life that can only come from Him!

on being a friend {day 18}

At the end of today's Proverb is the verse [24]: A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

 

One part of what this blog is about my learning to be the right kind of friend - even to YOU, whom I may never know on this earth.

I strive to show myself friendly. I do not come by this naturally. I am not a "people-person." I do not enjoy crowds. But I do try to be pleasant when spoken to and not completely ignore the people around me. This takes a conscious effort.

I also make an effort to show how Jesus is the friend that sticketh closer than a brother in my own life.  

And because He loves me unconditionally, I can love others - even those I have never met.

But what happens if I utterly ignore the fact that not every person I speak to {even through this blog} is a Christian or is possibly only a babe in Christ? 

And what if I disregard the possibility not everyone who attends my church regularly is a born-again believer and that not everyone grows the same. Even some people in full-time ministry positions come out as older adults and admit to not really knowing they are saved.

Earlier in the chapter is a verse that often saddens me [19]: A brother [friend or relation] offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.

Well, a brother [friend] can be offended... by what I've said, implied, worn, done, etc. 
 
And the fact that he is harder to be won than a strong city seems to imply that I should try to win a friend back. If the friendship was broken over something offensive I did or said, etc., I should care when a friendship is broken or hindered.

Which leads me to also think that possibly, I should at least strive to not be offensive in the first place. Of course, truth divides. There is no denying that. 

But it should be the TRUTH that is dividing. Because getting a friend back is harder than storming a castle!

I often ask God to put a filter on my words so that I may not come across as offensive to those who may be weaker than I am.

I also ask for Him to help my heart accept rebuke when it is shown to me that I may have been offensive--to whomever. 

And while I do not wish to ostracize the world from hearing what I have to say, I realize that some will not appreciate the words I speak or type. 

But my prayer is that the truth pushes them away, not the manner in which I speak it.

So, today, I pray that you find a friend when you come here. 

I pray that none of what I speak is offensive to those looking for encouragement in living Godly lives. 

And I pray that those who know me, you know-in real life, could say that my life’s attitude matched the kindness I strive to show forth here.

a crown for old men {day 17}

Today is my youngest daughter's 4th birthday.

this picture is a couple months old

She is  HOOT... and a whirlwind. 

She has the energy of my entire life in her pinky.

And today, while reading the Proverb, I came to this verse:

Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their 
fathers. Proverbs 17:6


And it made me stop and think {as it has before} that MY children... are my parent's "children's children."

with my grandparents

And I want them to be a "crown" to their grandfathers, and to their great-grand-parents!
And of course, I was reminded of another Proverb: Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 

And that reminded me of a post I read yesterday... about "the way." 

Jesus is "the way." 

So, while rules give boundaries that are necessary, and we should expect rules to be obeyed, our main focus should be on pleasing Jesus... making Him our life.

And that in-between relationship... I know my husband {and I do too!} desires to live such a life that his children would see his heritage/legacy as a thing of glory, as something to desire to pass on to their own children one day.

established thoughts {day 16}

Some days, I just feel kinda lost. I don't know how to get a certain principle across to my children, or I am unsure how to respond to something unkind a supposed friend said.

And some days, I just feel like any good I try to do means nothing.

And then I read encouraging words from God's Word:
Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established. Proverbs 16:3

Each day I have the opportunity and privilege to intentionally commit my day and all its works unto the Lord. Only then can it really have any meaning anyway.

And when I do this {you see, I don't first thing every day... hence those lost thoughts that happen}, the Lord establishes my thoughts for me.  

He directs my mind to think the way I need to. 

He gives me wisdom to instruct my children with the proper attitude and the appropriate words. 

He gives me the strength to be hurt and yet forgive without being asked for it. 

He gives me the discretion to understand that, while my "good deeds" are filthy rags, when I ask Him to do the works through me... His goodness is mine. And I can rejoice in that!

I am not well today. I had to cancel plans with a dear lady... and that made me sad. But my thoughts can still be right and good when I commit the works I am able to accomplish today to Him.

having answers {day 13}

For nearly 2 weeks I have posted each day of things the Lord has shown me either from personal Bible reading to in the simple day-to-day of being at home with my children.

Today, I have read several familiar passages {as was in my scheduled reading} and 1 of my usual "daily devotionals" and there has not been one particular thought or lesson that has made itself shareable. Several previous posts have been brought to mind though.  {smile-ever learning...[being a more faithful witness of His Love] ~ [personal responsibility] ~ [how I can have strength] ~ [seeing my own faults in my children’s needs] ~ [learning to live as His child from my own children] to name a few}

Often the Lord shows me things that simply are not meant for me to share with the world, because my desire for this blog is to not be divisive. I do realize there are some who do not agree with 100% of what I share, but my prayer is that nothing I write can be taken and turned on the Lord to say: Look, she claims to be following Jesus and yet she is constantly having other Christians criticize or rebuke her for this or that. That makes my testimony of no effect for God’s glory.

Some things the Lord shows me personally are quite controversial, such as with dress standards or music our family will listen to or even how I plan to vote...I have personal, God-directed, husband-approving {yes, that is important to me!}, philosophies and opinions about all of those areas.

And there are blogs out there where the blogger’s simple desire to to share everything... and that’s fine!

But that is not my blog’s purpose. I strive to only speak of how God is changing my own heart.

Some posts I hesitate to publish because I am uncertain of the reaction, and I must be sensitive to my family’s place of influence in our church. I do not want to come across as pointing a finger at anyone. The “followers” number often fluctuates and I wonder... was it something I wrote or did they just really not understand what this blog was about when they first started following? [I don’t actually write to grow a “following,” but I do notice those things.]

Most of my posts are first read by my husband. A few posts have been read by close, Godly friends before I hit “publish.”

One verse in my reading today that perhaps prompted these thoughts was in Proverbs 13:10- Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well-advised there is wisdom.

While I wish to speak only truth, and I strive to do it in love, I also wish to do so with a visible humility so as to avoid contention due to my personage.

My heart’s desire is to not come across as someone who gushes that she has found all the answers because even though the principles I do find and share come from Scripture, I will never have ALL the answers [and neither will you {smiles}].

And aside from salvation, there is much of our life as Christians that is simply to be governed by the two great commands Jesus shared in Matthew. I wrote a little about that on {day 1}. But I do praise the Lord that I know where to FIND the answer to anything I need.

I suppose that is it for today. I was still... the Lord showed me things I have already written about that need more attention in my own life. 

And He reminded me of my need to be peaceable and show humility in all things I write.

 

dangers of being "strange" {day 5}

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{{before I begin this post, I feel I must say this.... I realize that some of the thoughts I am sharing during this 31 days may seem a bit strong. I apologize if I come across that way. I am truly only sharing things the Lord has shown me about my own life, about the lives of my children and what to teach them. 

I totally get it that some people may not see or understand the same thing I do. I do not always see a passage the same as another, but we can edify each other that way.

That is the beauty of studying Scriptures on a personal level. That is the beauty of our God! I pray you are blessed and encouraged!}}

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Now... on to what is growing me today!

Proverbs chapter 5 gives warning to a young man about the dangers of the "strange woman." 

I would like to think that there is not a whole lot for me, a Christian, trying-to-be-Godly woman to really get out of that.  

But, there is much there for me. There is an example, several explicit illustrations, of what I should not be as well as character traits I need to guard my own daughters against developing and principles I need to teach my son.

I know that, in general, people can be a little touchy about the subject of the "strange woman." Many people have used her as a launching point for dwelling on dress and "modesty." I am not going there!

A totally different thought struck me this morning as I read this chapter.

...the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil: but her end is bitter as wormwood... [Proverbs 5:3,4]

How often do I speak as honey purely with the intention of getting my own way-which in turn often has results that are bitter as wormwood...? 

... ponder the path of life, her ways are moveable, that thou canst not know them. Hear me now ... depart not from the words of my mouth. Remove thy way far from her...Lest thou give thine honour unto others... [Proverbs 5:6-9]

Are my ways moveable? Do I allow my "mood" to affect {move} how I treat my family? Sadly, that is something I struggle with at times-to the point that my husband canst not know [my ways]. When I allow how I feel to so deeply affect how I act, I am a detriment to the Lord's ministry in my husband's life as well as my own testimony to my children {and others}... and the honor of our family is harmed.

Now, I know that this "strange woman" spoken of here is an harlot, and I know that the Bible is teaching young men not to seek out a woman with these traits as she will lead them to ruin; but as a Christian, trying-to-be-Godly woman... I need to guard my own heart against those tenancies.

...because I cannot forget that I have 3 little girls and a sweet baby-man looking at ME to see what a Godly woman should act like.

deliver me {day 2}

...to deliver thee from the way of the evil man,  from the man that speaketh froward things;

Proverbs 2:1-12

We must seek after God's Words and hide them in our heart in order to acquire knowledge and wisdom

But just having God's Words in our head {memorized}  does not automatically make us wise. I am sure most of us know examples of that. 

We must incline our ear and apply our hearts... which indicates a heart issue of even wanting to have God's wisdom.

Only when my heart is right in applying God's Words will discretion preserve me from the evil man and from the man who speaks frowardly [to lead astray, be stubborn or disobedient]. 

My desire for today is to allow God to work on my heart so that His Word can be applied... and my ear will be inclined to hear His leading so that I may teach my children also to hear God's voice for themselves.

a mother's law {day 1}

My son, hear the instruction of thy father, 

and forsake not the law of thy mother: 

For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, 

and chains about thy neck.

Proverbs 1:8, 9 

When I read these verses this morning, I was struck by them from a different angle than I have been in the past.

Normally, I think: these are for me as a child--I should not forsake the spiritual upbringing my parents gave me. I think of children in general, even my own children, and how they need to learn to listen and obey-and I must teach them this.

But this morning, I noticed the words the law of thy mother-not that children should listen and obey but what they should listen to and obey. 

As the "mother" here, what is my law? 

Law means regulations, standards, rules, guidelines, doctrine.

And my law as mother should line up with God's Word in principles and doctrine. 

My law should be the same as Jesus command in Matthew 22:36-40: Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Many of my 31 days will probably come from the Proverb for the day because I decided that this month I wanted to get back into the habit of reading a Proverb-a-day. But we also have special services this month in our church... and the Lord often speaks to me through situations that arise with my children!