the soul's delight {day 29}

DISCLAIMER: I have no illusions that my children are perfect. Their teachers tell me when they have done wrong to prove it! ...and we have correction discussions multiple times daily. It takes W.O.R.K.  And I do realize their ARE children who require extra effort... and I have no idea how I would handle them, except that God promises to give us grace for our own trials and not another's.  And those few times I have received praises... they often come back to haunt me when we have shameful days. I fail everyday. I correct in haste with an unkind voice more often than I would care to admit. I do not train when I should {because it takes T.I.M.E.}. But every time, I know that I have a Loving Heavenly Father who is ready to hold my hand and walk me through it... one-more-time. over-and-over-again. daily.

From Proverbs 29
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. [verse 15]

Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. [verse 17]

Several times through the book of Proverbs, child correcting and training and the rod are mentioned. And it is spoken of twice in this one chapter! 

{While I do believe there is a right and a wrong way to physically punish a child, that is not the point today!}

The fact that I must give correction... I must reprove [tell them they are wrong] and train [show/tell them how to be right] my children...

that is the point.

And these two verses give the basic reasons why.

Children will not learn wisdom [how to think and act with discretion, in a way pleasing to the Lord] without correction and discipline and training. And often punishment is involved [the rod]. Reproof and correction are not punishment... just a 'time out' or spanking or whatever method is employed for punishing wrong- that is not training. Punishment alone is not the answer, but it is a vital part.

 

we must walk this path of life WITH them

As parents, we must take the time- and as a mother I have much more opportunity to do this than my husband... and often fall very short- to speak with and train our children- a kind, loving voice instructing our children what is right, how toys are to be put away, how siblings are to be treated, etc.

Truly, as in verse 15, when we leave untrained, uncorrected children all alone... the mothers are shamed- often to the point of reprimanding in anger [BEEN THERE!]. 

But when loving reproof and training have been employed by {preferably} both mother and father... those children will give rest to whomever is in charge of them, with just a soft word of correction. They will be a delight unto their parent's souls.

Others can tell when a child has had loving correction and consistent discipline [both the rod and the training, hand in hand]... because they will make comments like: "oh, your children are so well-behaved" {to which I try to reply: "They are God's gift to me!"}... or "how do you make them all behave?" {to which I just smile {and try not to crack up laughing}! most people do not really want to know that sometimes crying is involved...}

soul rest {day 9}

Do you know when your children just really need some extra rest?
The fussiness, crankiness, general irritability--that just screams at you, “Please put me in my bed and let my body rest!”

yep, that's a pouty face...

Some days, my spirit is like that. The children’s fussiness grates on my nerves; the mess that accompanies 6 people in a small space... clothing, toys, school papers, mis-matched socks,  lost cups [found days later], remnants of “teachable moments” {let’s see how well you can put your own clothing away. hehe}, etc.; and then they all want to eat-3 times a day... all work together to make my soul weary. And yet, I am not to be weary in well-doing.
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.  

Galatians 6:7-9.

And I realize that...

I am trying to do good... in my own strength {again}. 

{I am reaping weakness... because I am sowing in my own strength}

And I must lay down my burdens with the Lord and let Him take over!

Come unto me...and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me... ye shall find rest unto your souls. 

Matthew 11:28,29

not of the world {day 3}

Last night in my church's special Revival Services, the Lord touched my heart. He convicted me about my witness... out in public, not an online public, but where people see the actual flesh and blood of my body and who I am.

Though He has many times spoken to my heart about its conduct. And He has changed many things in my life in the area of speech and dress and attitude. This is not how He spoke to me this time {that is not to say I think I have arrived! but it is something I consciously work on frequently.}

During our 9 years of living in this home, we have canvassed [invited neighbors to visit our church as well as ask about their salvation] our street and a few surrounding streets several times, though rarely is anyone home. And while I think we as a family could do this more frequently, that is not what He spoke to me about either.

Being a stay-at-home-wife-and-mother with 4 children [ages 1-8 yo], and many years off/on only having the one vehicle [and now fuel is so high, it’s almost like having one vehicle as we use them both at the same time so rarely], I did/do not leave the house often outside of attending church. But when I do, I am not normally thinking about speaking to anyone. I have a grocery list and a time-frame, and often 2 or more children with me.

What the Lord so graciously and lovingly knocked me up-side the head with is that even then, even when rushed to make sure I do not forget the bread or that I don’t forget to look at the sales racks for that bargain.... I must not block out the world around me. The world that is literally rushing to spend an eternity in hell.

How long would it take me to grab a tract out of my purse and hand it to the lady perusing the canned goods with me? How much brain power does it really take so ask “Do you know Jesus?” to the family also looking for a deal in the toothpaste? How can I be so focused on the toothpaste that it takes precedence over a human soul? I am positive that if I came home and told my husband that someone promised to come to a service or even let me talk further about salvation right there in the grocery store, he would not be in the least upset that I told him I forgot the toothpaste... or even the milk and eggs and bread! 

So, this soul-beating that I took last night has softened my heart to SEE the world around me. Just because I am not OF the world does not mean I am not IN it, and I have a grave responsibility of sharing Jesus with someone!

a mother's law {day 1}

My son, hear the instruction of thy father, 

and forsake not the law of thy mother: 

For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, 

and chains about thy neck.

Proverbs 1:8, 9 

When I read these verses this morning, I was struck by them from a different angle than I have been in the past.

Normally, I think: these are for me as a child--I should not forsake the spiritual upbringing my parents gave me. I think of children in general, even my own children, and how they need to learn to listen and obey-and I must teach them this.

But this morning, I noticed the words the law of thy mother-not that children should listen and obey but what they should listen to and obey. 

As the "mother" here, what is my law? 

Law means regulations, standards, rules, guidelines, doctrine.

And my law as mother should line up with God's Word in principles and doctrine. 

My law should be the same as Jesus command in Matthew 22:36-40: Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Many of my 31 days will probably come from the Proverb for the day because I decided that this month I wanted to get back into the habit of reading a Proverb-a-day. But we also have special services this month in our church... and the Lord often speaks to me through situations that arise with my children!

teaching respect

 to respect carries the idea of "showing regard to, paying attention to"

Psalm 119:6 Then shall I not be ashamed, when I have respect unto all thy commandments. [If I pay attention to and regard God's Word, I will have no reason to be ashamed.]

Colossians 3:23-25 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons. [when we disregard God's commands we will receive proper judgment just the same as the next person. No one is exempt from the consequences of his actions.]

Psalm 138:6 Though the LORD be high, yet hath he respect unto the lowly: but the proud he knoweth afar off. [God will take notice of those who show humility.]

Some things we are commanded by God that show our respect for Him.
Ephesians 6:5-9 Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ; Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart; With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men: Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free. And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him.
Hebrews 13:7 Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation.
17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: [and the end of their conversation is this] for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

Just because I am "all-grown-up" does not mean I do not have any authority over my life. And as usual, the best way to teach our children is through example. 


I will teach my children to have respect for each other and their classmates by showing respect for them and other children we come into contact with and also by how I interact with my own peers. 

Part of being respectful is trying to anticipate needs and being responsive when needs are made known. If I see that someone is walking towards a closed door with her arms full and I have nothing, and I do nothing to help, that is being disrespectful to her as a person. But if I speed my steps just enough to get there and open the door for her, I have shown respect. And it is of no consequence if I even know her.


I will teach my children how to have respect for their teachers and other authority {boss, police, laws/government, etc} by how I show my respect for those individuals. If I take matters into my own hands even after clear instruction from an authority, then I am teaching my children that they, also, can pick and choose which instructions they wish to obey. But when I do all within my power to do what is expected {whether clearly stated or not} and do not make excuses when I cannot accomplish it, I teach my own children responsibility as well as respect.


And as a stay-at-home-wife/mother, my closest human authority is my husband. That is not to say he "bosses" me, {smiles} but he IS, Biblically, an authority in my life. And how I respond to his requests, how I convey my attitude after turning from him-body language, facial expressions... that says more than any words. And when my children see me disrespect their daddy, they WILL show disrespect to others. And they will not understand when someone tries to correct them. Confusion will ensue. 


Since my children leave me for the day to attend school, the next most important authority relationship is with their teachers. I wrote a little about how I must be willing to allow others to correct my children here. And that lines up with teaching them respect, which in turn contributes to teaching responsibility! 


So each day, my life is about more than "my life." Much of my life is about teaching my children to respect others and how to show that respect through kindness of actions and words.

My life is about striving to BE the person God created me to be... so they can learn to be the person God wants them to be!

doing right verses having rights

Sometimes, the difference between having rights and doing right is a wavy, blurry line.

this is not about gun control! {but aren't they cute?}

I have many privileges as an American. I have vasts amounts of opportunities when I am willing to work and sacrifice. I have all the ability I need to DO right, because Jesus is [or should be] my strength.

But this "my rights' attitude" [me time, anyone?] that I have, on occasion, been sucked into is not Biblical. For one thing, it is putting the focus on ME. I'ved studied through a little of that before. [This is not to say we do not ever need rest or an occasional break. But there is a "me mentality" that comes from thinking only of me and what *I* need/want. And that is what I am talking about being caught up in.]

And if, as a wife and mother, I am overwhelmed by certain tasks or expectations, then that is my cue to step back and take a few evaluations of myself and my motives.

I must evaluate my motive for doing this overwhelming task and determine who exactly set the expectation. The only true, pure Biblical motive is to do all to the glory of God [I Corinthians 10:31]. The Lord sets expectations of what He requires from us; but He also ALWAYS gives us the strength to meet them. {-because God gets glory when His strength is magnified through our weakness: 2 Corinthians 12:6-10-}

Evaluating my motive is often a soul-searching, prayerful endeavor. Our hearts are deceitful [Jeremiah 17:9]. We will lie to ourselves when not careful to ask the Lord to shed His light on our motives, because sometimes we try to do things {even GOOD things} for the wrong reason. And sometimes we let others put expectations on us that are not from Him.

let her rest while she will...

So, if my motive is pure and the expectations set are from the Lord, why may I feel as though there is not sufficient strength?

This is where I often get convicted, because there are so very many times that  I KNOW I am doing what I ought. But the strength is not there. When there is not enough strength to get through the day or the project or whatever, I realize that I really am doing this "good thing" all by myself. I have once again taken the reins into my own hands... plucked them from my Father, who expertly handles them while I falter and stumble through.

So, while I have many "rights" as an American and I even have much freedom as a Christian, when I get into the mindset of "having a right" for something or to do something, I forfeit the strength that comes from following the path God has set for my day, because God will not give me His strength to follow my own path.

on chicken sandwiches, free speech, and Christianity

making you hungry? {me too!}

Understanding and realizing the reasoning behind this past Wednesday's Chick-fil-a Appreciation Day, I have a few thoughts weighing on my heart. My husband guest posted yesterday about it from a slightly different angle.

But today my thoughts are centered around the "christian culture" I grew up in. The one that says, if you do this you must be a good person and if you do THAT you can't possibly be used by God. Now, to disclaim here, not everyone I grew up around had that attitude! But my entire family were babes in Christ when I was a small child, so my parents learned what was accepted in the church who reached them. They embraced and studied the Bible, but were also influenced by this philosophy. Today, they are different people.

They are different and so am I because the Christian life is NOT a list of rules. It is not "do’s and don’t’s." But all life IS a daily struggle against sin. And having rules and guidelines can help us stay in line (indeed, they are necessary for teaching and learning), but "living by the rules" is not the  goal. And that is where so many get off track.

I did not go to Chik-fil-a on the "Appreciation Day" -partly because I did not have 2 hours to wait in line with 4 children and partly because I did not have $20+ in my budget to buy their food (no matter how much I like it!) But as I watched the facebook statuses and pictures from my friends who did go grow in number, I got to wondering if it was all really such a good idea. It was almost as if people got the idea that getting a meal from that particular restaurant on that particular day meant something to the lost world out there- like seeing those lines around the buildings told them something important. Because it didn’t.

When Christian values are attacked, it is no longer just a matter of "free speech" or the definition of marriage. It becomes a matter of showing the Love of Christ.

Yes, our freedoms are in jeopardy. The sanctity of marriage, the symbol of Christ's love for His church, is being marred by sinners. But it is because we are ALL sinners.

I do not personally know many people who claim the gay lifestyle, but I do know some. I am even related to one (gasp)- and I can’t change them.

shocker: They cannot change themselves! No one is born a homosexual (a sodomite). It is not an illness. It is not "who they are." It is a sin. [Mathew 19:4-6; Romans 1:20-32; I Corinthians 6:9-1; I Timothy 1:5-11 {and Jude 4-7 tells us in this Age of Grace we still can look to Sodom Gomorha as an example of wickedness and God’s judgment of it}] Satan has duped them into thinking it is what will make them happy. Because--"for a season"--it does. [Hebrews 11:24-30]

The only way anyone can change from that thinking is with the help of the Almighty God who made them, the only one who loves them with a love so pure He DIED for their freedom.

And the only way most of them will know of His love is if they SEE it in a Christian (you and me).

Many, strikingly many, who live a life of sodomy KNOW of Jesus. they have been preached at- both before and after making their "preferences" known. But preaching AT someone does not show love.

Eating a chicken sandwich on August 1 did nothing to tell anyone that Jesus loves them. There was likely no one there to witness to. I am quite sure most anyone asked would have said they are a Christian. That's why they were supporting a company whose founder has Biblical moral principles and is not ashamed to say so.

So, while I will eat at Chik-fil-a on occasion, when my pocketbook allows (I can make a good chicken sandwich right home!), more than anything else, I need to remember to pray for those lost souls. I need to spend time weeping over them before the one who loves them so purely. I need to LIVE my life to SHOW them that pure love that ONLY He can pour through me. Yes, what they do is wrong. Yes, we must give the gospel-to any who will listen and even when unsolicited. But just telling people of any lifestyle that what they are doing is wrong and telling them Jesus died to take their sins away does NOTHING until they realize they are missing something.   

Why would a happy male "couple" listen to a man tell them they a living wickedly when just yesterday he was mad at his wife and listing the ills of his married life? Why would a female couple want to have what YOU have with your husband? If you are constantly despondent over this or that or belittling your husband for not taking out the garbage (or whatever), I would’t want what you had either. 

Some people are searching for God, and are ready and willing to repent when confronted with the gospel. And I rejoice and praise the Lord when those times occur! But most are not there. And if they do not see a difference (as in A BETTER WAY) in the manner in which WE live, why would they even care that we want to share it with them?

"free speech" requires SPEAKING!

Oh! that Christians would be as fired up about attending and supporting their local churches as they were about supporting a company who has a moral stance. 

Oh! that we would be as ready to share the gospel of Jesus with LOVE FLOWING so that it is evident as we are to eat a chicken sandwich in the name of "free speech."

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Be sure to read my husband's post on the same topic. We have the same view but he approaches it from a slightly different angle.

Chicken Reasoning [guest blogger]

this post is from my hubby! 

so excited to have his thoughts to share. 

[We in NO way are judging those who did or did not attend the appreciation day. These are just some thoughts from his heart to my readers. 

I also have a post scheduled for tomorrow on the same topic.]

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Back in July, Chick-fil-A’s (CFA) CEO, Dan Cathy, spoke out against same sex marriage and how he believes marriage is between one man and one woman. What a great statement! Though unfortunately, in this day and age, attacks are sure to come when you speak out against something that the left agrees with. The CEO never mentioned he hated the LGBT lifestyle participants, he just spoke out against their lifestyle. Here are some of the comments that have come under high scrutiny:

We are very much supportive of the family -- the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that.

Yesterday marked a wonderful day of out pouring of support, to local CFA’s around the country; and though I did not personally participate, I know of many good people and Christians who did.

That was yesterday, August 1st, 2012.

But how about the other 364 days out of the year?

How about last year? How about this century?

The fact of the matter is, most, I would venture to say 80-90%, of those who waited in line to order their tasty sandwich have never opened their mouths to voice their “freedom of speech” in the form of a letter to a Congressman. Sure, they may have tagged along on some internet form letter, but how many of us have actually taken an individual step to voice our concern on the issue of same sex marriages and unions?

There are several problems with the appreciation event at local CFA’s yesterday that truly concern me:

1-Although people lined up for this cause, many of these same people have literally done nothing to reverse the many LGBT lifestyle agendas that have been put in place. Sure they may have voted against a proposition in their state, but that is not really going above and beyond, that is a status quo option. (above and beyond: writing/calling Congressmen, State Congressmen, shown an activist role in defeating this “lifestyle agenda”, etc. etc.)


2-It appeared that, to many, eating a chicken sandwich yesterday somehow made them  feel, dare I say it, more spiritual? What a sad state of affairs that is. Whole states have been lost to the GLBT agenda, 6 to be exact, because, to be honest, people think that eating a chicken sandwich is truly accomplishing something. It does nothing to change the laws in those 6 states or the 13 other states that now allow same-sex unions. 


3-Many went to support the comments of CFA’s CEO. That is a noble thing to do. But preachers proclaim the truth of God’s Word week after week, and sometimes people attack the man of God. True, it might not always be something like homosexuality. It might just so happen to be the pastor dared preach against our “pet” sin, and thus we resort to attack what he says even though it is the truth of God’s Word, just as much truth as what CEO Dan Cathy stated in his interview. 


4-Why does the homosexual community even feel the way they do towards Christians? I would say a large part of it has to do with the way some Christians have treated them. I know some people who live the homosexual lifestyle, and I praise the Lord that every single one of them has said something like this to me before, “you aren’t like the others (Christians), you accept me for who I am and treat me right.” They knew I did not like their lifestyle; but you know what, they also knew I cared for THEM, that I loved as a person. I praise the Lord that not only has He helped me to be able to feel that way, but they were able to see it as well. We must accept people where they are, and then HELP THEM (not BEAT THEM) become what God wants them to become.


5-Our bottom line through all of this should not be to support a man, or worse, to eat a good chicken sandwich. Our bottom line should be to be the witness we ought to be to reach this segment of the population. One amazing thing about Christ and His ministry on earth is that He would see multitudes of people, and He would even see their sin, and yet He still had compassion on them. He saw the woman at the well, and instantly knew everything about this woman, how she was living in sin many times over. And what did He do? He had compassion on her soul. He sought her out on an individual basis so she could live in heaven forever. 


share the gospel!

6-Similarly to #5, many in local churches give to support missions and missionaries through their local church. But unfortunately, that is where it ends for many Christians. They seem to justify in their mind that giving to missions is doing their part in reaching the world for Christ. Although this is needy, God says it is necessary for EACH Christian to open their mouth and proclaim Christ. Just living for God will never reach anyone. It might make them curious, but if you never share the Gospel nothing has been accomplished for Christ. Jesus reached people by speaking to them and sharing the Gospel with them. Think of it this way, if there was anyone who could have reached more through lifestyle evangelism, it would have been the perfect man of Jesus Christ, and yet He still spoke to people about how to be saved.

Many used yesterday to make a statement, and I do not fault them for this. But we must not let it END there. This can be the beginning of something new.

Get involved- spiritually, politically, and personally.

We can all pray for the Lord of the harvest to work amongst us to see more saved. That is truly where victory in life lies, it is not in Washington. It is not even at the state or local political level. It is how we allow God to work in and through us each day that will truly last forever.

My challenge is simple. Many spent 60+ minutes to order food to make a statement, or support freedom of speech, or whatever their reason was. Today you can spend less time than that to reach out and write a letter to your Congressman.

Just think, if just half of those who went through the chicken doors yesterday were to write a letter today stating their support of marriage between one man and one woman, Congress would be inundated with letters; and I believe they would seriously need to look at legislation that could change the course of our nation.

To help you out, here is a link to write to your Congressman: 

FIND YOUR CONGRESSMAN

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{all photos were randomly found on google. 

nothing is mine and I have no links to share.}

Please feel free to comment on here or my Facebook page. I'll be sure he reads them!!

keeping cool

and I'm not talking about turning on the AC! 

{I know it's been a while since I said, Hi! I trust and pray anyone still visiting is doing well!}

Sometimes, I feel like Anne Shirley: "if only you knew all I wanted to say and didn't maybe you'd give me little credit." {smiles} But there are seriously times I know the only way I can remain quiet is because the Lord puts a stopper on my tongue. But that does not mean my "cool" is under control!

...that we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;  but speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things... Ephesians 4:14,15

"what did you say?"

We must always speak the truth! but this verse also tells us to speak "in love." This is a wonderful principle to hold fast to, as I have found that when the truth is spoken in haste, without love, it does so much more damage then not speaking at all. This seems to hold true in all situations. 

When correcting my children it is necessary, on many occasions, for me to take a moment and find that love from Christ before speaking. Otherwise I will speak words I should not or with a tone that is not appropriate. I will not grow into Him in all things if I speak harshly.

When telling others of Jesus' love for them, I cannot get huffy or defensive when I am attacked-and truly, it is not ME they are attacking or questioning. It is Jesus Himself. This ought to invoke our pity, not our wrath. I will be as a child, tossed and carried about by the devil's craftiness, if I get defensive and prickly about another questioning the gospel.

{love this face!}

Have you ever been corrected? Who hasn't??!! Even now, as a "mature" adult person [LOL] when another points out a fault or wrongdoing, my reaction [always my own responsibility! {Romans 14:12}] is greatly based on their attitude.

If I am approached in love, I will be less likely to respond childishly. If I do not perceive a loving spirit {KEY: they must realize you are speaking in love!}, I often do respond in a less mature manner [read: get defensive and prickly]. How much MORE defensive do you think an unsaved person or immature Christian would be if we do not approach them in love?

This truth is also relevant when people say unkind or untrue things about us or our family! When we find out, do we respond with the truth IN LOVE? or do we lash out in defensive anger? Being upset about lies is not wrong. Being sad about unkindness is not wrong. But we must respond IN LOVE when speaking the truth to combat the unkindness or untruth! So, when I realize that I cannot respond in love, I often [should be ALWAYS!} simply do not say anything at all.

Our children learn how to initiate and respond from watching us. Whether we are interacting with our spouse, one of their siblings or an adult friend, they see and comprehend so much more than you think.

Let us "KEEP our COOL" and ask the Lord to set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3, because ...there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. Psalm 139:4.

is my help destructive?

As parents, our natural instinct is to protect our children. from all evil and harm. and that is part of a parent's responsibility. 

But another part is to teach and train. And this is where the protection instinct needs to step aside at times [oh, how hard that is!].

When our children are very small, we [parents] are pretty much the only ones who correct and discipline our children. teaching manners, kindness, and self-control with love and patience [sometimes begging God for that proper spirit].

But when my children are older and leave me every day to attend school or go to an age-appropriate Sunday school or even just go to a friends house for an afternoon, what do I teach them about authority? about responsibility? about respect?

It mostly stems from how I react to others correcting my child. [it also is learned by how I respect/obey my own authority-but that's another post].

I must realize that my child is a sinner [aren't we all? Romans 3:23] and he/she WILL do wrong. and need correction. at school or a friend's house. even in children's church. 

And in order to teach them respect for authority, I must be willing to allow other people to have authority and correct my child. And I, as the parent, must also be willing to enforce their obedience to that other authority. Otherwise I will be teaching my child that I, the parent, can take their responsibility of obedience on my own shoulders. and one day she would have a very rude awakening.

Galatians 6:7,8- Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. [We will all reap the consequences from our OWN actions. and we must TEACH this truth to our children.]

If I do not teach the reality of consequences---

Romans 4:11,12- As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God. [we are each responsible for our own actions]

and

I Peter 4: 3-5- For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries:  wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you: who shall give account to him that is ready to judge the quick and the dead. [there will be those who do not understand when we choose to live differently, but God will judge]

---then, when our children are all grown up, they will likely continue to expect Dad and Mom to bail them out when they have done wrong. and will probably live as though you can bail them out in heaven, too.

And here is the point: 

There comes a time [earlier than you might expect and years before they become a teenager!] when I cannot and should not protect my children from themselves. and the consequences of their actions. This is how they learn responsibility and integrity.

Deliverance 
before a lesson is learned 
is DESTRUCTIVE.

 and I do not want to destroy the most precious gifts God has given me!

 

preserve. guide. bless.

Psalm 25:21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee.

Proverbs 11:3 The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them.

Proverbs 19:1 Better is the poor that walketh in his integrity, than he that is perverse in his lips, and is a fool.

Proverbs 20:7 The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.

Apparently, integrity is something that can guide us. can preserve us. can bless our children. It is on the same level as uprightness. better than having riches.

I want integrity.

I want my children to have integrity!! 

integrity: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; the condition of being unified, unimpaired, or sound in construction; internal consistency or lack of corruption in electronic data

When most of us think of integrity in people, we probably are thinking of the first part of the definition: being honest and having strong moral principles. 

Are we honest? Obviously, we should not speak our whole mind about others or to others [Proverbs 29:11 A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.].

But sometimes we are not even honest with ourselves. We say we do not care what others think. but we do. AND we SHOULD. We should care what others think, but only to the extent of HONESTLY examining our own lives and actions. 

To care about what others think does not mean I will compromise the cause of Christ. and my children need to understand that, too.

I must not brush aside when others correct my children or make known a fault [no matter if it is done rudely or tastefully]. I must teach my children how to handle correction. with humility and honesty.

But also, we must deal honestly with others. Speak honestly. Pay attention that we do not take advantage of others' generosity. Keep watch that our children learn this.

 

Even further, are we honest with God? in our opportunities to witness. with using the talents He has given us. in our giving. Only an individual can examine his own heart, but we must also remember that others see our actions. [We should care what others think, but only to the extent of HONESTLY examining our own lives and actions.]

Beyond being honest, do we have a Biblical sense of morality? I stress Biblical because today's morality is changed from the morality my parents grew up with. We cannot flow with society in this.

Do I teach my children what the Bible says about right and wrong? Do I teach them consequences? If not, they will have a rude awakening one day. Do I give them an example of truthfulness and responsibility?

Simple ethics and expectations of good behavior, a Biblical sense of justice and modest propriety seem to be a thing of by-gone days. 


But as mothers, we can help CHANGE that!
     by TEACHING our children to have integrity.