an element of wise choices: reasoning consequences

When we take a time out and teach our children about something specific that is wrong, do we give them the whole picture?

I do not necessarily mean when they are very small, and we are simply training obedience; but when they are taller, older, more able to reason out a situation. Say, maybe when they are 4 or 5 years old {some may be younger, others older... just a general age here}.

I know that my 8 year old is able to rationalize things she wants to have or do. She understands consequences, even if she does not always think them through: It might be fun to run across the parking lot, but if you are not looking for cars... they might not be looking for you either.

My 5 year old understands actions and consequences fairly well: I should not wave that stick around in the house because I might hit someone or break something...

My 4 year old is learning. And if you can keep her from melting down too quickly {working on that, too!, she can be reasoned with. She understands when it is explained: No, you cannot sit on your baby brother even if all you want to to is hug him because he will then scream at you and pull your hair, and you do not like that. {seriously, that is how she "loves" on him.}

I cannot tell my girls that doing those things are not fun to make them not do them.

Because they ARE fun.

Some things are not necessarily wrong. But when the are done in a wrong way or time or place, they become sin.

And sin is often "fun." 


Racing a friend to your class across the parking lot IS fun. And running is not bad. Twirling around the house with your princess wand... that's FUN. Trying to love your baby brother, that is so sweet! It's a good thing, right?

But I am failing them if I do not teach them to reason out and think through the whole situation.

There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Proverbs 14:12

Now, I am not saying that each of these specific scenarios will result in death if my child chooses to do it; but they each CAN result in hurt.

And it is part of my responsibility as Momma to teach them that while sin, even  thoughtless behavior, can be fun, we must consider any possible consequences before choosing to partake.

And which consequence is worse: having fun while racing in a parking lot and risking being hit by a car [which is WHY Mommy asks you not to do so] OR possibly being called a name for choosing to walk calmly and with a bit of decorum.

Choosing rather to suffer affliction [being called names or mocked? that is painful for any person] with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season [that exhilaration of racing... it's fun!]; Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt [God will reward your doing right]: for he had respect unto the recompence [looked at the possible consequences and chose the eternal reward of doing right over the singular pleasure of doing wrong]  of the reward. Hebrews11:25, 26

While I expect unquestioning obedience [though I have not always taught it consistently], after they have obeyed I sometimes talk to them about possible consequences if they had chosen to disobey.

And on the flip-side, when they choose to disobey and are facing those consequences, I speak to them about the reward they forfeited to have that little pleasure.

...Each child is different. There is not formula or cut & dry system to this.They understand different illustrations and often require different amounts and types of correction.

But every child must be taught how to reason, how to determine if a seemingly inconsequential action or activity does, indeed, have consequences, what those might be, and understand the personal responsibility of deciding if the momentary "pleasures" are worth it.

DO NOT FORGET!!

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a crown for old men {day 17}

Today is my youngest daughter's 4th birthday.

this picture is a couple months old

She is  HOOT... and a whirlwind. 

She has the energy of my entire life in her pinky.

And today, while reading the Proverb, I came to this verse:

Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their 
fathers. Proverbs 17:6


And it made me stop and think {as it has before} that MY children... are my parent's "children's children."

with my grandparents

And I want them to be a "crown" to their grandfathers, and to their great-grand-parents!
And of course, I was reminded of another Proverb: Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 

And that reminded me of a post I read yesterday... about "the way." 

Jesus is "the way." 

So, while rules give boundaries that are necessary, and we should expect rules to be obeyed, our main focus should be on pleasing Jesus... making Him our life.

And that in-between relationship... I know my husband {and I do too!} desires to live such a life that his children would see his heritage/legacy as a thing of glory, as something to desire to pass on to their own children one day.

compared to oxen {day 15}

Well, this is not from yesterday's message. 

It is from the Proverb for yesterday. 

Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox. Proverbs 14:4

I heard this verse preached several times while in Bible College. I had never actually understood it before that.

It has become a motto of mine since becoming a mother of 4. {lol}

While I strive, regularly, to put things in order and keep things clean and straightened, it is not a possibility at this season of my life for my home to be perfectly "kept" at all times each day.

And yes, I realize I am comparing my children to oxen. {smiles}

But while they are yet small and in-training... and until they leave, my home will have some measure of chaos. I realize there are those ladies who have several small children and their home never seems to look like it {I applaud them!}, but I am not one of them. And while I hate tripping on blocks and slipping on books, I cannot compare myself to them. 

I must compare myself with what I am asked to do and how diligently I try to do it. I do not have the ability to keep all the plates juggling {pick-up toys, clean laundry, wash dishes, fold laundry, vacuum, put laundry away, etc} at all times every day. And some days, all the plates simply crash and stay there. {oh yes, they do.}

And besides all the "house-keeping" responsibilities, I am also trying to teach my children how to keep a house... as well as to love God and obey His Words. While my example is paramount, I must take time to speak to them also. And we must have hands-on discussions at times... either in actual chores being done over and over or in discipline-both apply.

And I also have several responsibilities outside of 'home-keeping' that I do from my home.

But my point is, people are messy. Life is messy. But when I loose site of the goal: my children being grown, functioning, responsible Christian adults, the messy makes me feel like I am not accomplishing anything. So I have to remind myself....

when my "oxen" are gone... my crib may be a bit neater... but I pray Christ's work is stronger because my children are active in it!

I pray this is an encouragement to someone today!

noticing a mote {day 10}

One of the passages I read this morning was in Luke 6... where the Lord Jesus says:

Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch? ...why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye? ... Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother’s eye. [select from verses 39-42]

Usually I hear this passage preached or spoken of as a reason for "not judging" your brother... And I like this quote I have seen recently: "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you." which implies that we all sin, because we do!... but there ARE appropriate times and places to give judgment.

And I don't think I'm going where you think I'm going... {smiles}.

I am turning the tables on myself here.

Often, I find myself disciplining my children... for acting: just-like-me! 

Not - how I acted when I was a child {that's another post!}, but how I acted... - yesterday.

I see the mote in my brother's [child's] eye but NOT in my own, until it has driven me crazy... in my child's life! 

Recently, and again this morning, I have purposed to asking God to help me see the beam/mote/problem in my own life before the same thing in my children causes me frustrations. 

Because- while I can punish them for doing wrong and teach them about what is appropriate and kind, etc. {as I should!} -until I actually acknowledge [that's the hardest part] and change these situations in my own life, all the teaching and disciplining and punishing will be counter-productive!

And then the Lord gives grace and wisdom for me to deal with the same in my children's lives. {It is always a lesson in patience.}

{Being a mother is one of the 

most rewarding things I have ever done, 

but it is also quite humbling! :)}

growing

While my 14 month old still crawls, and seems content to do so, I often remember that my 2 middle children crawled before they were 10 months old! The oldest walked just before her first birthday. And I am struck with these differences. Some of it does have to do with gender, and how girls and boys mature differently. But people in general mature and grow differently-at different paces, in different orders.

Our oldest was speaking fairly clearly with full words at 11-12 months, but she never crawled until about 2 weeks before she started walking... right before she turned 1.

The next two both crawled by 5/6 months and were walking soon after, but they both had trouble forming words coherently until they were past their second birthdays.

This little baby-man we now have... he took his time learning to crawl. He is taking his time with walking too. And I think he'll follow those two who took their time talking also.

And I found a lesson to be learned... every person will grow differently from every other person. We may meet someone who has had similar experiences as ourselves, but they will not have grown exactly the same. Even siblings, growing up with the same parents, same house, same experiences, same church, same everything... still become different people. And they learn things in different ways and from different circumstances. They even learn the same things in a different order.

And so do baby Christians. Just because a person was saved at the same time you were does not mean they will automatically be at the same place spiritually that you are every step.... even if you've been in the same church and had similar experiences.

And we cannot push people to learn something other than what God is teaching them right then. Others can observe my growth and be encouraged that God is not done with them. And in turn, I can observe their growth and realize God is not done with me, either!

I may learn a particular lesson earlier in my Christian walk than my husband or a friend, but that does not make me more spiritual. My husband had learned many things I had yet to encounter when we were first married... and now the Lord allows him to be right there helping me through as I learn them later-in different ways.

All of that to say, every other person is going to grow and mature in a different way than I do, just as each of our children grow and learn differently. And I cannot and should not try to push or shove people in their Christian walk...

I must gently guide those the Lord puts in my path to guide {my children, a SS class, close friends, etc}.

I must pray for those He does not give me the authority to instruct {other people’s children who are not in my care, people who do not know my testimony, even those who simply seem to resist me as a person}.

And I must be an example to any who care to observe my life that God does indeed grow people. And I must allow Him to work!

teaching respect

 to respect carries the idea of "showing regard to, paying attention to"

Psalm 119:6 Then shall I not be ashamed, when I have respect unto all thy commandments. [If I pay attention to and regard God's Word, I will have no reason to be ashamed.]

Colossians 3:23-25 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons. [when we disregard God's commands we will receive proper judgment just the same as the next person. No one is exempt from the consequences of his actions.]

Psalm 138:6 Though the LORD be high, yet hath he respect unto the lowly: but the proud he knoweth afar off. [God will take notice of those who show humility.]

Some things we are commanded by God that show our respect for Him.
Ephesians 6:5-9 Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ; Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart; With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men: Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free. And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him.
Hebrews 13:7 Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation.
17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: [and the end of their conversation is this] for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

Just because I am "all-grown-up" does not mean I do not have any authority over my life. And as usual, the best way to teach our children is through example. 


I will teach my children to have respect for each other and their classmates by showing respect for them and other children we come into contact with and also by how I interact with my own peers. 

Part of being respectful is trying to anticipate needs and being responsive when needs are made known. If I see that someone is walking towards a closed door with her arms full and I have nothing, and I do nothing to help, that is being disrespectful to her as a person. But if I speed my steps just enough to get there and open the door for her, I have shown respect. And it is of no consequence if I even know her.


I will teach my children how to have respect for their teachers and other authority {boss, police, laws/government, etc} by how I show my respect for those individuals. If I take matters into my own hands even after clear instruction from an authority, then I am teaching my children that they, also, can pick and choose which instructions they wish to obey. But when I do all within my power to do what is expected {whether clearly stated or not} and do not make excuses when I cannot accomplish it, I teach my own children responsibility as well as respect.


And as a stay-at-home-wife/mother, my closest human authority is my husband. That is not to say he "bosses" me, {smiles} but he IS, Biblically, an authority in my life. And how I respond to his requests, how I convey my attitude after turning from him-body language, facial expressions... that says more than any words. And when my children see me disrespect their daddy, they WILL show disrespect to others. And they will not understand when someone tries to correct them. Confusion will ensue. 


Since my children leave me for the day to attend school, the next most important authority relationship is with their teachers. I wrote a little about how I must be willing to allow others to correct my children here. And that lines up with teaching them respect, which in turn contributes to teaching responsibility! 


So each day, my life is about more than "my life." Much of my life is about teaching my children to respect others and how to show that respect through kindness of actions and words.

My life is about striving to BE the person God created me to be... so they can learn to be the person God wants them to be!

is my help destructive?

As parents, our natural instinct is to protect our children. from all evil and harm. and that is part of a parent's responsibility. 

But another part is to teach and train. And this is where the protection instinct needs to step aside at times [oh, how hard that is!].

When our children are very small, we [parents] are pretty much the only ones who correct and discipline our children. teaching manners, kindness, and self-control with love and patience [sometimes begging God for that proper spirit].

But when my children are older and leave me every day to attend school or go to an age-appropriate Sunday school or even just go to a friends house for an afternoon, what do I teach them about authority? about responsibility? about respect?

It mostly stems from how I react to others correcting my child. [it also is learned by how I respect/obey my own authority-but that's another post].

I must realize that my child is a sinner [aren't we all? Romans 3:23] and he/she WILL do wrong. and need correction. at school or a friend's house. even in children's church. 

And in order to teach them respect for authority, I must be willing to allow other people to have authority and correct my child. And I, as the parent, must also be willing to enforce their obedience to that other authority. Otherwise I will be teaching my child that I, the parent, can take their responsibility of obedience on my own shoulders. and one day she would have a very rude awakening.

Galatians 6:7,8- Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. [We will all reap the consequences from our OWN actions. and we must TEACH this truth to our children.]

If I do not teach the reality of consequences---

Romans 4:11,12- As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God. [we are each responsible for our own actions]

and

I Peter 4: 3-5- For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries:  wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you: who shall give account to him that is ready to judge the quick and the dead. [there will be those who do not understand when we choose to live differently, but God will judge]

---then, when our children are all grown up, they will likely continue to expect Dad and Mom to bail them out when they have done wrong. and will probably live as though you can bail them out in heaven, too.

And here is the point: 

There comes a time [earlier than you might expect and years before they become a teenager!] when I cannot and should not protect my children from themselves. and the consequences of their actions. This is how they learn responsibility and integrity.

Deliverance 
before a lesson is learned 
is DESTRUCTIVE.

 and I do not want to destroy the most precious gifts God has given me!

 

where modesty begins

I have found that many people, when they see that someone is going to talk/write about modesty, completely tune out because they think the subject is going to be pants and tight clothing. our bodily coverings.  but it isn't.

Modesty was something greatly stressed as "what you wear" to girls in the churches I grew up in. It was not something I really studied for myself until my husband and I had our first child. Our first child is a girl.

After the initial reaction of I don't want to dress her in all pink and all lace and only frills [I know. I'm not the normal girly-mom and her favorite color is now pink!], I became more practical in my thoughts and began contemplating just how WOULD we dress her? 

lol. I'm wearing pink!---my sweet girl

Cute, trendy clothing is hard to be immune to. Classic clothing is not synonymous with modest. and modest clothing is really, REALLY hard to find. and my first THREE children are girls!

When they were infants, it was so simple. cute dresses. ruffly bloomers. But I knew that when they were a little older it would be time to address covering ones' self modestly. and how.

and then why? and...


what is modesty, anyway? so let's start there.

[I am no expert. This is simply what the Lord has taught me through personal Bible study and Godly influences.]

modesty: behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency

some synonyms to help: unassuming, meek, decent, ladylike, pure, innocent, sedate

In order to guide my girl's into having a modest appearance, I must address behavior and manner {attitude} because modesty is so much more than the clothing we wear on our bodies {as the Lord is so patiently teaching me.}

this one keeps my laughing!

This verse is the only place I find in Scripture that puts the two [modest & clothing] together:
In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel... [I Timothy 2:9]. and there appears to be an order here. We must be 'in like manner' before we will adorn ourselves in modest apparel.

Going back to verses 1-8 [please feel free to go find your Bible!] we see reference to giving thanks,  praying for all men, living quietly and peaceably, lifting holy hands to pray, living in honesty, desiring to see people saved--in THAT like manner.

True, Godly modest apparel will only follow praying for others and quiet living. and giving thanks and living honestly. It follows a proper behavior and manner of life. which can only come from a personal relationship with Christ. [am I first teaching my children to love God with the intent of leading them to salvation?]

Then. how do I teach my girls to have modest behavior and manner of life? {as in, what is my goal? because I fail every. single. day.} I must [attempt to] model it [this requires personal Bible study and seeking God's face in prayer to BE MORE LIKE CHRIST.]

point out other ladies who also model it.

speak plainly yet gently & privately when they notice those who are NOT behaving with modesty. because they will notice.

So, now. what IS modest behavior? {by definition} being decent, ladylike, sedate & pure. in my actions. speech. responses. facial expressions. body language. with a proper attitude.

...Does my reaction in a stressful situation bring added stress? Am I known as the one who will roll her eyes when others stray off course? Do I speak so loudly that everyone around knows my family's conversation? Do I have an attitude that publicly conveys my personal disapproval about things that are none of my business? [in essence, do I strive to be seen? to make my thoughts and opinions the center of attention?]

OR

...is my speech quiet. gentle. unassuming? [only when I am conscious of Him.] are my responses in a stressful environment relaxed. composed. calming? {Christ-like?} [ugh.] when others' actions are distasteful, am I the one who points others away? looking for the good. directing the focus elsewhere. [only if I remember that I am no better!]

{LOVE} this face

I will never be accomplished in this modest behavior or attitude. Though saved by grace, I am still a sinner. But I strive for it. It must be a conscious decision each day. a prayer on my lips. I have to be purposeful. I must point my children to Christ... so they can also point others to Him 
because modesty is so much more than the clothing we wear on our bodies.

Modesty is how we cover our heart. 

with Christ. 

His love. 

His humility. 

His kindness. 

His graciousness. 

While people do judge our outward appearance, and Christian women have need to "dress modestly," it is a lie if our heart is not covered by Him. and continually addressing the "issue of  modest clothing" to young girls still learning to follow Christ in their own hearts will not draw them towards the like manner also, which must come first because modesty is so much more than the clothing we wear on our bodies. {yes, i said it again. I think I may need to read that over and over for myself!}

answering {simple} questions .3

As before, I must preface this by saying that only if you as the parent/adult are already saved  

can you truly answer a child's questions regarding salvation. 

Only God can guide your words to speak appropriately.

read part 1 here

read part 2 here

6. How does being saved take your sins away? 

and

 7. Can a person be saved without asking Jesus?

I'm taking notes, Momma!

{I have not personally ever heard small children ask these questions, and some of these thoughts may be a little hard for very small children to understand, but I pray this can be a launching point for your own study into how to answer your own sweet babies.}

When you understand that you have sin in your heart and believe what the Bible says about why we have to be saved to live with God in heaven and you make the choice to ask Jesus to save you , then Jesus takes away your sin. He does that by being a substitute. When you do wrong, you have to be punished. But if someone else takes your punishment [maybe a friend gets a spanking or put in time-out FOR you], that is a SUBSTITUTE. that friend takes your wrong as his own responsibility,  and that is what Jesus did for us! When He came to live on earth as a baby and then grew up without ever sinning and then died on the cross, He became our SUBSTITUTE. Because he was not guilty of any sin, as we are, God allowed Him to take our punishment. He took the responsibility for our sins.

The Bible tells us very plainly that no one can enter heaven without accepting Jesus' SUBSTITUTION. In John 14:6, Jesus said: No man cometh unto the Father [lives with Him in heaven] but by me [trusting Jesus]. And in Acts 4:12, the Bible tells us this about Jesus: Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name [JESUS] under heaven given among men whereby we must be saved. We cannot be good enough or go to a certain church or be baptized to help us get to heaven. Jesus is the only path that leads to living with God in heaven forever.

Some Scripture Reading:

I Corinthians 15:3,4

II Corinthians 5:17-21
Galatians 4:3-7
Ephesians 2:4-9

Titus 2:11-14

{There are many more Scripture passages that deal with all of these salvation questions, and only individual Bible study can help you find them all. I have only tried to include a few passages to help you get started.}

preserve. guide. bless.

Psalm 25:21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee.

Proverbs 11:3 The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them.

Proverbs 19:1 Better is the poor that walketh in his integrity, than he that is perverse in his lips, and is a fool.

Proverbs 20:7 The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.

Apparently, integrity is something that can guide us. can preserve us. can bless our children. It is on the same level as uprightness. better than having riches.

I want integrity.

I want my children to have integrity!! 

integrity: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; the condition of being unified, unimpaired, or sound in construction; internal consistency or lack of corruption in electronic data

When most of us think of integrity in people, we probably are thinking of the first part of the definition: being honest and having strong moral principles. 

Are we honest? Obviously, we should not speak our whole mind about others or to others [Proverbs 29:11 A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.].

But sometimes we are not even honest with ourselves. We say we do not care what others think. but we do. AND we SHOULD. We should care what others think, but only to the extent of HONESTLY examining our own lives and actions. 

To care about what others think does not mean I will compromise the cause of Christ. and my children need to understand that, too.

I must not brush aside when others correct my children or make known a fault [no matter if it is done rudely or tastefully]. I must teach my children how to handle correction. with humility and honesty.

But also, we must deal honestly with others. Speak honestly. Pay attention that we do not take advantage of others' generosity. Keep watch that our children learn this.

 

Even further, are we honest with God? in our opportunities to witness. with using the talents He has given us. in our giving. Only an individual can examine his own heart, but we must also remember that others see our actions. [We should care what others think, but only to the extent of HONESTLY examining our own lives and actions.]

Beyond being honest, do we have a Biblical sense of morality? I stress Biblical because today's morality is changed from the morality my parents grew up with. We cannot flow with society in this.

Do I teach my children what the Bible says about right and wrong? Do I teach them consequences? If not, they will have a rude awakening one day. Do I give them an example of truthfulness and responsibility?

Simple ethics and expectations of good behavior, a Biblical sense of justice and modest propriety seem to be a thing of by-gone days. 


But as mothers, we can help CHANGE that!
     by TEACHING our children to have integrity.

answering {simple} questions .2

As before, I must preface this by saying that only if you as the parent/adult are already saved  

can you truly answer a child's questions regarding salvation. 

Only God can guide your words to speak appropriately.

read part 1 here

3. Why does a person need to be saved? 

4. What is sin?

and  

5. How old does a person have to be to get saved?

How can I understand, Mom?

The Bible tells us that every person has sin in his heart. We also learn from studying God's Word that God cannot have sin in heaven, and if we keep sin in our heart He cannot hear our prayers [except for the prayer of salvation] or allow us into Heaven to be with Him.  We have to ask Jesus to wash away the sin in our heart to have God take us to heaven.

Simply put, sin is breaking God's Law. Another simple explanation of sin is "anything that I may think, say, or do that does not please God." some examples are: lying, hitting, disobeying, thinking mean thoughts. {Be specific when dealing with your own children. Give examples of things you know they have done that are sin.}

If you know the difference between right and wrong and you understand that there are consequences to doing wrong, then you are old enough to be saved. There is no specific age that God says, "You cannot be saved before you are xxx years old." But neither is there an age that God says, "All people are old enough after they are xxx years old."  {If your child is asking these questions, it is possible that they are indeed ready to make the decision to ask Jesus to save them. But this is an area where parents must ask God for wisdom in guiding each individual child.}

some Scripture reading: [again] John 3; 14:6; 
Romans 3:23; 5:6-21

Next week's questions: How does being saved take your sins away? / Can a person be saved without asking Jesus?

 

answering {simple} questions .1

I must preface this by saying that only if you as the parent/adult are already saved  

can you truly answer a child's questions regarding salvation. 

Only God can guide your words to speak appropriately.

1. What does it mean to be "saved"?

and

2. How does Jesus come into our hearts?

These answers will be written the way that I would address a small child [under age 5]. Children can understand so much, but we must also be aware of just how literal they are!

because one day they will need to know how to hold God's hand!

"Saved" means that you have asked Jesus to come into your heart and wash away the sin. [This does not mean that another person is going to come into your body. It is not something we can see.] This is also called being "born again." 

This also means that you have Everlasting Life. which means that when you die you will go to heaven to live with God. Those who understand this and choose not to "get saved" will not go to heaven but hell when they die-living an eternal death.

Jesus will only save you or come into your heart if you ask Him to. He then becomes a part of your life and He can help you in your mind to choose to do right instead of wrong. He can help you think good thoughts and be nice to others. He can help you be strong enough to help others {such as a younger brother or sister} choose to do right, too. 

some Scripture reading: John 3:1-21 [especially: 16,17] 
and Acts 2:21 & 10:13; 16:30-33.

Next week's questions: Why does a person need to be saved? / What is sin? and How old does a person have to be to get saved?

 

linked up at:

ourSimpleCountryLife/hearts-4-home 

raisingmightyarrows/proverbs-31-thursdays 

{teaching} with evidence

When children see evidence of God's importance in Daddy's and Mommy's lives  and are trained to also be involved, it becomes a part of their lives. 

There is a marked difference in the attitudes of children towards authority between those who are taught that God is Important and those who are left to figure things out on their own [Proverbs 28:26; 29:15]. 

Children must be continually exposed to God and His Word and His Love and commands in order for them to become a part of their lives. 

If God is important to us as parents it will be evident to our children when they are in Sunday School every week and when we read the Bible [even just a verse and explain it] with them each day and when we pray for the difficulties we face and when we praise Him for all things. It will be evident when we participate in the ministries of our church or go out of our way to be helpful to those in need.

Children with parents who are passionate about "being green" learn how to recycle and repurpose, because their parents DO it. Those whose parents are avid about "organic food" will learn about the nutritional value of different foods and the negative effects of pesticides and processing, etc because their parents are DOing something. Those who are fervent in their quest of an organized home & life teach their children the importance of everything having its own home and putting it there by always having them put things away as well as DOing it themselves.

In the same manner, parents who are are dedicated lovers of God WILL teach their children who God is. We will prove that He is our Creator and that He is to be revered and praised and worshiped and served with our whole life. with our actions.

{teaching} God is [& link-up]

Before our children can know to ask us about salvation we must teach them about God.

All men are born with the knowledge of God written in their heart [Proverbs 14:1, Romans 2:14-16].

But this does not mean our children will automatically know God.

Man is born a sinner. Even as a babe, we are all sinners. If you have children, you cannot dispute this fact. A child left to himself brings shame on his mother [Proverbs 29:15].

Since the same heart that knows God also contains sin, the knowledge of God must be cultivated to become knowing God. People do not know who He is without being taught. Yes, if a lost man seeks for God, God will not hide himself [Jeremiah 29:13].

But we must teach our children who God is.

And we must teach our children to KNOW God. and the earlier the better. 

In the first hours and days of each of our children's lives they each had several people telling them them "Jesus loves you" often ... through words, song and even action. These people included us as parents. our parents. and church members who visited. My children are greatly blessed.

Of course, my babies had no idea what we were saying; but as they grow and learn from Bible stories and Sunday school and family devotions that Jesus is God and God made us and loves us and wants to be our Heavenly Father, a sense of God is All-Important is instilled in their hearts. And this is fundamental to their ability to realize their need of a Savior at an early age.

When children are taught this, it is fact in their hearts [Proverbs 22:6]. And if the knowledge that Jesus loves them and He is ALL-Important becomes as integrated into their being as the fact that Daddy and Mommy loves them, the root of faith takes hold. 

even while still a baby.

{If you have a blog, please join in! Just link to a blog post URL in which you have talked about a child-training tip or Bible teaching idea for children!}

linked up:oursimplecountrylife/hearts-4-home

some {simple} questions

1. What does it mean to be saved?

2. How does Jesus come into our hearts?

3. Why does a person need to be saved?

4. How old does a person need to be to be saved?

5. How does being saved take your sins away?

one prayer is for them to always be able to hold each others hands...

6. Can a person be saved without asking Jesus to come into their heart?

Have you ever wondered any of these questions when thinking of and praying for your children? Have your children ever asked you something along these lines?

Teaching children spiritual truths is a daunting challenge. It causes my very being to go weak with the awesomeness of the responsibility. that God gave to ME and MY HUSBAND [and YOU and YOUR HUSBAND].

this one reminds me that one day they will not have my hand...

and I need to be sure they know how to hold His!

The next few weeks Tips for Training Children will take on a spiritual note. We will start at the beginning [and see God] and then look at these questions in the light of the Word of God. If we cannot answer or teach our children from the Bible, the foundation of their faith will not be true and accurate and will one day crumble.

until Thursday...

no more naps. {oh no!}

{If you have a blog, please consider linking up with us at the end of this post! Please link to a blog post URL in which you have talked about a child-training tip or Bible teaching idea for children!}

My oldest child took a nap after lunch until she was 3.

My next 2 girls stopped naps around 18 mo. {Girlie #3 was born when #2 was 18 mo!} Needless to say, Mommy was not thrilled. But we had established "quiet time" with the oldest one to be used on such days that Mommy just needed a rest. so we taught the younger 2 to have quiet time also.

sometimes this happens

I use "quiet time" at least twice a week now. Always on Sunday. and one other day [or 2] that warrants its use. It is not used as a punishment, and some times the girls actually ask for it if we've had an unusually active morning. 

{This is simply the way we do this. it is not the "perfect method" for everyone. nor is it for every family. Just what we do. and I pray it can be a blessing and an inspiration to someone.}

When we first started this with our oldest, I made her have quiet time every day for about 2 weeks. When the younger 2 girls quit their naps, they had quiet time every day for a few weeks also.

The training for this is quite similar to the bedtime training. The first few times there must be strict [loving] discipline and correction when they get up before they are supposed to. Our children have a CD of gentle instrumental hymns that lasts 1 hour. They know that they must remain in their beds [except to potty] until the music is finished. [This established time must be very clear to the child, such as a timer beeping or music stopping.]

sometimes at supper {LOVE}

During the training process you cannot expect to actually rest yourself. You must be up and ready to train. You must explain [as much as possible] what "quiet time" means. During this time they may have a book. or one toy [or not]. But they must, at ALL TIMES, be in their own bed. They may not be silly or talk with their siblings. On occasion, one or both of them do fall asleep. More often though, they just lay there while mommy rests. or actually gets something accomplished. {smiles}

Once they know and are [mostly] doing what is expected of them, I tell them that while they have quiet time Mommy is going to rest. They are not to come talk to me. They are [still] not to get up or be silly. {AND, if Mommy is asleep when their music is over they are NOT to wake me but stay in their room and play.}

This simple few weeks of training for each child has afforded me many hours of rest through the past several years. It has been a priceless treasure of investment into our life as a family, my life as a wife and mommy, and my children's lives, as rest is vital to physical and emotional health!


{Please link to a blog post URL in which you have talked about a child-training tip! and link that post back here if you like}

**family notes

We have had "quiet time" in our home since our oldest was 3 years old. She is now almost 8! And, on occasion, she must still participate [though sometimes I allow her to have a quiet activity beyond a book]. I do expect that this summer when school is out that the younger ones will have quiet time and she will not be required to do the same. And I anticipate some whining over that fact. But knowing that "quiet time" has a stopping point {except for Sundays} should give them something to look forward to!

I realize that some may see this training as a difficult task, but when weighed against the irritability that I will inevitably have without an occasional break [not daily, just occasional], it is more than worth it. 

And, in our house, this time cannot begin later than 3:00 pm or, if they fall asleep, they do not go to bed very well. {smiles}

Of course, not every single "quiet time" is smooth and without need of correction, we are all human. My children sin. I sin. But training the simple things [such as how to lie down quietly] while they are very small will truly become a blessing when they are older.

And, on occasion, the little man's afternoon nap will slide right in along the girls' quiet time and I really DO get a few minutes... quiet. blessed quiet.

What age did your children stop taking naps? 

linked up at raisingmightyarrows.proverbs-31-thursdays