thoughts on singleness

I had a conversation recently with an unmarried lady friend. She has a growing ministry with small children and visions for that ministry to thrive! I appreciate her zeal, and her love for God is evident.

Yet, she told me that she receives comments regularly from people about her unmarried status. I assume these are well-meaning people, as they seem to think the singleness she finds herself in somehow prohibits her from having a full, vibrant life and ministry.

Let me tell you, my unmarried friend, your life can be as full as you let it be - whether you are married or not! [I have knowledge of more than my share of people who are married yet have neither a full life nor a vibrant ministry for God!]

Singleness lends itself to a bit of freedom that those married, especially with children, do not have. I married right out of college. I do not have experience of the trials or temptations that come with serving the Lord as an adult while still single, but I have witnessed those who do it right as well as those who do it wrong.

 

In light of that, all ministries are simply an opportunity to serve God. And when we allow Him, He puts us in place to have certain ministries. No where does He tell us that ministry is only for married people. Actually, Paul was given liberty to tell us that if you are content to be single, then that can actually give you opportunities that would otherwise be a closed door [I Corinthians 7:1-9].

Serving God is a command to all Christians: single, married, divorced,  child or adult. [Matthew 20:26-28; 28:19-21; Mark 16:15-16; I Timothy 4 {especially verse 6 and 10-12} and many more].  Telling someone their ministry cannot be full for whatever reason {unless pointing out an error in love: Ephesians 5:6-11} is not helpful or Christ-honoring.

As married ladies and mothers, we should pray for those in singleness-that they would be content in Christ. Pray that the Lord would protect them from temptations or "evil" appearances. We should befriend them, on a personal level, so they realize and understand our genuine concern for them as people! When we see evidence of genuine service to God and growth in His word, we should even point them out {but NOT elevate} to our children as an adult to trust and point out areas of their life that they should emulate {such as a humble, teachable spirit or a willing, helpful attitude} and show our children that life is not all about growing up and having a family. Life is all about learning how to SERVE JESUS!

And to my single friends, remember that you are part of the body that is the bride of Christ! You have his love to comfort and protect. You have His peace to be your companion and guide. You have His wisdom to direct your steps and His tender mercies to correct you when needed. [There are MANY Psalms as well as other passages that speak of God's comfort and protection and peace and guidance and tender mercies! These for for ALL Christians, not just married people.] Never let anyone's personal opinions on your marital status allow you to believe that anything you are doing for God is somehow less valuable than what us married folks are doing!
 
 

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{While I am a married lady and my main reason for starting this blog was to encourage other married ladies, I would not say that this blog is only for married ladies. While many of my posts have examples from married life or from being a mother, the premise for Becoming God's Gift is not just for married ladies!! We were all created and designed to work together towards reaching others for Christ. While my personal goal is to become the wife and mother God wants me to be, I also want to learn to be the friend God desires me to be too!}

whet tongues

I failed. 

I fall short every day. 

but this day I completely blew it!

as a wife. as a friend. as a child of God.
 

For there is not a word in my tongue, 

but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.  Psalm 139:4

A circumstance pushed me beyond 'that point' [as a Christian, I should not have a point!] and I crashed. Instead of asking for a moment and stepping back from the situation, I lost it.

Have you ever lost it?

My tongue was WHET: sharpened as a blade.

source

and that is SO wrong.

It is not ever necessary for me to loose it. ever. with anyone.  

{shame}

So what do I do now?

Pray. Give that control back to God [again]
and repent for snatching it from His grasp [again].

Ask forgiveness from the one who received my lashing. The situation was not his fault. and no one deserves to be beaten by another's tongue. and most especially not by someone who is supposed to love you above all others.

Teach me, and I will hold my tongue: 

and cause me to understand wherein I have erred. Job 6:24

Keep thy tongue from evil... Psalm 34:13 

There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword... Pr 12:18

I must pray for this in my life. every day.

 ... but the tongue of the wise is health. 

 Proverbs 12:18 [a wise tongue]

Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue

keepeth his soul from troubles.
Proverbs 21:23 [a bridled tongue]

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; 

and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 

Proverbs 31:26 [a kind tongue]

And then, allowing God that control, the result can be:

Then was our mouth filled with laughter, 

and our tongue with singing: 

then said they among the heathen, 

The LORD hath done great things for them. 

 Psalm 126:2

My tongue shall speak of thy word: 

for all thy commandments are righteousness.  

Psalm 119:172

My tongue also shall talk of thy righteousness all the day long: 

for they are confounded, for they are brought unto shame, 

that seek my hurt. Psalm 71:24

I did repent. God never fails to forgive.

I am humbled.
God is Good beyond measure.

I apologized to the one I wronged. He forgave also.

and I am humbled again. 

I am still working through those prayers... most especially for a bridled tongue.

God's strength is made perfect in weakness!

And he said unto me, 

My grace is sufficient for thee: 

for my strength 

is made perfect in weakness. 

Most gladly therefore will I rather 

glory in my infirmities, 

that the power of Christ 

may rest upon me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

am I a Christian?

I suppose that in order to know if I AM a Christian, I should understand what it means to BE a Christian. 


The Christ of this word is Jesus of the Bible. the Son of God [only begotten]. 


And -ian has several meanings: belonging to or relating to; a person belonging to or coming from; typical of or resembling; adhering to or following; and adherent of; a person who specializes or is an expert in.


So by these definitions, a Christian would be a person who belongs to Christ [I do, do you?]. aka: saved [by grace through faith]


But further than that, a Christian would be a person who resembles Christ and/or adhere's to His teaching. or someone who is an expert in Who Christ is and what He teaches. 


I do suppose that most of you reading this blog are, indeed, saved [Christians]; but are you [am I?] actively BEING a Christian? 


Do I resemble Christ? [producing good works and the fruit of the Spirit as He did in His earthly ministry]
Do I adhere to His teachings [as opposed to blindly following a human]? 
Am I striving to be an expert in Who He is? Do I study His teachings [the Bible] and try to apply the truths learned?

Do you?

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growing home

what did you say?

My husband sent me a link the other day for an article entitled 'Christian Cussing?' 

This topic is actually something that had been on my heart and mind for a couple of months now, as I listen to my children mimic my speech. As crazy as it may seem [today], I want my children to be well-spoken, use proper grammar and even know what the words they use mean. With that being said, it is difficult for my children NOT to be exposed to illiterate speech. We live in an illiterate society. [I am in no way saying that every single person we come into contact with is illiterate. This is a generalization made from simply listening to people around me and is not meant to offend, just make aware. Words are important.] 

{Even more importantly} I also do not want my children uttering profanity. BUT, what is profanity? What is unacceptable speech? Is it just the 'major' cursings [the Lord's name in any way other than speaking to or about Him, the 4-letter words, etc. I am not going to spell them out]? Or are slang [replaced] words wrong, too? The linked article at the beginning of this post has quite a list of slang-I will not try to delve into that. Please read what he has listed. Some of those expressions I had never heard of. But several I had, and seeing their origin made me question whether or not I should say them let alone my children!   

In Psalms 19 the Bible says: Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression. Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.

If I am expressing words simply to let my emotion have voice [as the majority of reasons for cursing, swearing, or whatever you call it] are these 'words of my mouth being acceptable in the sight of the Lord'? They have no use other than expressing feelings. They often are not even used in proper context. [Is God going to bring damnation on an object just because you don't like it?]

These are just some thoughts that have been in my heart for a while. I would love to read your opinions [kind words, please], but I must show one example that puts shame on my head. I have often spoken the words 'oh my goodness' when I am at a loss of how to express shock or sadness. Each time, I would feel a prick in my spirit that those words were being used vainly, but I did not fully examine it until recently [not many days before I read that article]. 

One question I finally faced gave me my shame: 

Who/what IS my goodness? 

Do I even HAVE goodness apart from The Good One? 

So is that not in essence saying.... Lord, I have no respect for your name or the simple fact that You are good. 

As I said. Just a thought.

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homemaker by choice