a price above rubies . 15

She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

Proverbs 31:24

She understands a trade. She knows an area of business and takes advantage of the market, thus earning some income. This has been talked about earlier in the chapter also.

She knows that her merchandise is good. This woman has worked in the night hours to furnish product to the merchants. She has remained a light to her family during the dark times [possibly of financial struggle].

She is not afraid to lay hold on work. She has learned to give to the needy. She has proven to have a mind to reason out business.

While she could have {and so can we} become involved in a myriad of business opportunities: soap-making, farming, animals, child-care, artist, etc... she did become involved in clothing and material construction {as well as a little farming}. We see here that she made fine linen. She constructed girdles to sell.

I find it encouraging to notice that, while it does say she was not idle and looked well to the ways of her household [further on], it does not say that there were never days of disorder or frustration.

I am positive she had days of being tired. She WAS human. But she also relied on God for strength {she feared the Lord in verse 30}.

[I do understand that this woman is simply the advice of a mother to her son on looking for a wife, but I think the fact this type of lady's description made it into Scripture means this type of life is more than just a lofty aspiration.]

Life is messy. Husbands are not always agreeable {and neither are we!}. Children are often chaos waiting to explode. She took care of her family and home to the best of her ability. And she learned a trade. Incidentally, she learned a trade that benefited her family [growing fruit and constructing clothing]!

These things did not happen in a day. Neither did they happen in one year. This chapter is the culmination of her life. It does not say she bought land every year or even planted vineyards every year. It does not say she made linen every season her whole life. These are simply things she did-at some point in her life.

And while I am busy these precious, few, fleeting years training my children to be good and how to do household chores with me, I can be learning and preparing for a time when they will not require my full-undivided-attention-every-waking-moment. It will come. I think the fact that the only time this lady's children are mentioned is when they rise up to call her blessed attests to that.

~ ~ ~

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 

Proverbs 31:10

the series

good & useful {day 31}

So, Proverbs 31 is {mostly} all about that woman... you know the one. 

 ~"The Proverbs 31 Woman"~

She is often tossed out as an unattainable super-woman. 

She is labeled as a product of her time ... not something today's woman could ever hope to become.

I have studied these verses quite a bit... though I am not finished. I have written about 14 verses and have 7 to go. 

[click below to read the series]

{my new "logo" for this series}

While I do understand that Solomon's mother {Bathsheba!} is giving him advice on the type of wife he should seek, I also believe that even 

~"The Proverbs 31 Woman"~

                           was not

~"The Proverbs 31 Woman"~

 from the very beginning... 

She struggled and learned. 

She desired to be good and useful.

She was an immature girl with dreams. 

She was a young married lady with lessons to learn. 

She was a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend. 

She was a sinner waiting on a Savior to be born. 

She had struggles. 

She knew hardship. 

But what set her apart... 

was her heart.

a price above rubies . 14

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

Proverbs 31:23 

This man who is the husband of our Virtuous Example was known in the gates. He sat with [possibly was an associate of] the elders. They knew him. He had influence. respect in society.

I do not believe that this little slice of information was arbitrarily placed in Proverbs 31. This lady's virtuous efforts were not lost to those around her. The community noticed. Other woman spoke highly of her to their own husbands [perhaps even the elders' wives]. Though she did not strive to bring attention to herself, perhaps even the men noticed her when she was in the market. her kindness. generosity. gentleness. neatness. helpfulness. They knew that the man married to her had to be at least as good. Her virtue brought him respect.

If you see a lady who is truly a lady, do you not have at least a measure of respect for her husband simply because of her virtue? I do.

So, I am encouraged to realize that, though it is not voiced to me frequently, I can know that others do [indeed!] observe how I live. train my children. dress my family. treat other people. how willing I am to help. how helpful my children are. how respectful I am towards my husband as well as general authority. 

But this encouragement also challenges me! to truly strive to live a virtuous life. If I hear a compliment about my husband, I can know that my life had some small part of that. If others can know and speak well of my husband, then at least part of my assignment as a woman is on the right track! and I can be reminded to pray and beg a merciful God for His hand to produce virtue in my life.

Does this encourage you? I have nothing to boast of, but knowing that certain people think highly of my husband does bring a measure of fulfillment to what can become the mundane. and also gives a resolve to my spirit to seek Him every day. to plead with the Holy God to live through me even more fully.

~ ~ ~

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 

Proverbs 31:10

the series

a price above rubies .12 [guest blogger]

WELCOME to Candace from

Sonbeams: 

Raising up Sonbeams for Him!

[She has developed a wonderful pre-school curriculum 

and has many helpful products!

See the end of this post for additional links] 

 

I asked her if she were willing to choose a verse in Proverbs 31 to expound in a modern way, and she graciously consented to write about verse 21. I have to admit that I had asked for her post in advance since she was expecting a wee bundle of love and then life happened. It was not posted on time and I forgot about it. Candace is a sweet Christian lady who writes...

She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

Proverbs 31:21

She is not afraid; she has no need to worry about her family’s needs being met; she is prepared for whatever might come her way.

We live in a modern day world, and unfortunately for myself, I depend greatly on these modern conveniences. But the Proverbs 31 woman foresees what might come her way, and not only is she prepared, she is prepared with the best! I personally take the snow in this verse to relate to storms here in Alabama.

How can we apply this verse to our lives today? For our 1 income family, we are taking advantage of coupons and sales to stock up on necessity emergency items such as bandaids, toilet paper, solar energy products, freeze dried foods, even closeout clothes! As long as we have a place to store something that is a necessity AND a great deal, we stock up.

We look for ways to save on clothing, such as the sometimes new clothes you can find a the thrift store. Sheets in good condition can be sewn into skirts, or pillowcases. Long ladies dresses can be transformed into little girl dresses. Grab up mens pants at a fraction of the cost of retail – and look for durable material that will hold up well over time.

Take advantage of sales on soaps and candles, or better yet, learn to make them yourself! Not only will you reap the rewards of savings, you will have a product with ingredients you are in control of.

Research natural remedies and essential oils for basic health and cleaning purposes. Again, being able to make your own products will not only save on costs, but will be very beneficial should an emergency cut you off from stores or outside help.

I have a great respect for the woman in this verse; and it is very encouraging to me that she is not afraid when circumstances change on her, because she is prepared.

I will close with encouraging you to take a minute the next time the power goes out to see exactly what all it is that you are doing. How are you affected? Can you still fix dinner, wash clothes, tell time, etc...? Take this and learn how to be better prepared next time.

~~~

Thank you, Candace. Being prepared for an emergency is definitely something we ought to be thinking of during the days in which we live.

Please visit her at Sonbeams! She has developed some wonderful curriculum for pre-schoolers as well as many helpful products including a Children's Bible Songs CD [GREAT Christmas gift] in which there are 26 songs -a Bible verse set to music for each letter of the alphabet!

a price above rubies .13

She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 

Proverbs 31:22

Let us be encouraged today! To decorate our homes and adorn our bedrooms and wear the clothing that makes us FEEL [and look] beautiful! This is the way of the virtuous woman! 

Coverings of tapestry are said to be either [or both] beautiful and ornate bedcovers OR carpets for visitors to rest on when visiting her home Both are encouraging! We can [and indeed, NEED] to take the time to make our bedrooms a place of beauty and rest. and teach and allow our children to do the same. 

We need to have a space prepared for being a gracious hostess. This is NOT to say that we must have an immaculate living room or spotless kitchen at all hours of the day. That would require living in a vacuum, and is not what the Lord wants from His children.

We also have the freedom [but how often do we embrace it?] to DRESS BEAUTIFULLY. each day. Obviously, I will not be pulling out my Sunday best  to wear when scrubbing the kitchen floor. But, [and I am totally pointing my whole hand of fingers at myself!] why can I not wear something pretty, or at the very least, attractive instead of frumpy, every day?  Even the unsaved understand the correlation between how we are dressed and our productivity.

I have several aprons. They aid wonderfully in keeping my clothing from being terribly soiled during the day. when I remember to wear them. If you don't have an apron, hold on! I have a simple tutorial for that that you can make even if you do not have a sewing machine or know how to sew one stitch my hand.

I think that we can all see the heart issue coming here. Do we see the testimony that shows when we NEVER have anyone come visit? when we never INVITE. This is something that has been weighing on my own heart recently. I have come to realize that, truly, most other women DO NOT CARE if they come into my home and have to step over some toys. or see a little dust. We live here. Even another family is not going to mind too much. Most people just want to know that someone cares about them and their precious people. My caring heart can be evident when I invite others over-especially other moms with small children!

What am I telling my husband when I regularly meet him in the worst clothing I own when he comes home each evening? He should be right there under my Lord. and yet, instead of reaching for that clothing that is just under my church best, I reach for the bottom of the barrel. My heart of love can SHINE out in my wardrobe selection.

As a side note: I do have a few pieces of clothing that I keep for the really nasty, dirty stuff [and some of them are actually nice tops that have been stained a little too much through forgetting my apron or carrying a baby around] but I try to be sure I KEEP them for the dirty jobs. Otherwise, I have tried to do a purging of those frumpy, ugly "feeling" things [they make me feel ugly] and when I do purchase something new [usually second hand] I ask myself first-do I really need it? and then: do I REALLY like it more than what is already in my wardrobe? and if I do like it better than something nice I already have, it gets bumped to everyday-nice WITH AN APRON! The point being, I try to always have nice clothing [that I know my husband likes!] that I CAN pull out every day.

Lord, help me keep a beautiful heart that wants to shine out! and bless my family and those I invite to share my home.

~ ~ ~

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 

Proverbs 31:10

the series

linked up at:
Hearts4Home/OurSimpleCountryLife

a price above rubies .12

She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

Proverbs 31:21

This standard of womanhood we see here was prepared for  the coming season- a good thing to be thinking about now with winter coming to the northern hemisphere [where I live]. There have been times when we were not prepared, as a family, for a sudden cold snap or **snow**. We live in a southern area of the United States and snow is NOT the norm. It really is foolish to spend a lot of money on snow suits and boots and such. BUT, I still need to be sure my babies have warm coats and sweaters. and if it comes down to being out in the freezing for longer than a few minutes, layering is handy. My girls DO have gloves and scarves [lovingly crocheted by my mother] and stockings and socks, and I leave a  fleece blanket in the car for those early morning school rides for my oldest to use until the car heats up. We get out the blankets right about now [November] and in December I will pull the flannel sheets out.

But this verse alludes to much more than physical preparation. While looking up different words used in the verse I can across the last one: scarlet. Does her household all wear red? maybe. But I read this about where the scarlet dye came from:   

When the female of the scarlet worm species was ready to give birth to her young, she would attach her body to the trunk of a tree, fixing herself so firmly and permanently that she would never leave again. The eggs deposited beneath her body were thus protected until the larvae were hatched and able to enter their own life cycle. As the mother died, the crimson fluid stained her body and the surrounding wood. From the dead bodies of such female scarlet worms, the commercial scarlet dyes of antiquity were extracted.

WOW. Do I so completely protect my family? not only from the seasons of the year but during the seasons of life? Yes, our children need to learn to face and deal with their problems with Christ's guidance in their own lives. but as mothers we do have a responsibility to protect, nurture and train our children until such time as God directs us to push them out to use their own wings. 

May we seek God's face and follow our husband's leadership in keeping our children protected from the snow [harshness, but not hardships-they are for teaching] of this world while continually teaching God's goodness and strength for such time as they will face it without us. with only God's shelter over them directly.

~ ~ ~

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 

Proverbs 31:10

the series

linked to

Raising Mighty Arrows [Proverbs 31 Thursdays]

a price above rubies .11

She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

Proverbs 31:20

During this time of year [near Christmas and the Thanksgiving holiday in America], people are often more thoughtful of giving to charity and helping those in need. But as Christians, especially ladies striving to BE the woman God created us to be, we need to be mindful of those in need more regularly. {BUT, in this day of deceit and danger, we must also beg God for discretion in this.}

As usual, we must address the heart issue. Just giving some money to a charity or groceries to a food bank is not what this verse is talking about. though it could be included. Our hearts must be turned and softened by His hand in our lives for us to have a SPIRIT of GIVING in our daily LIFE. Not just during a season of the year when 'everyone' is doing it. And the poor and needy does not only mean those without material possessions or food & shelter.

Do I have a SPIRIT of GIVING when I am at home with my children? towards my husband? Just this past Saturday my husband and I were computer chatting with each other [I know that sounds odd when we are in the same house, but occasionally it is easier to communicate that way with 3 talking little-people and a baby to keep OUT of the conversation]. so, back to the story. While we were chatting, my husband asked me to get him some more coffee. I am at the back of the house and he is in the room right next to the kitchen. But I was WILLING to get up and do it for him. [that is not always the case, but it should be]. But. to be fair, my husband quickly wrote that he was joking and was perfectly capable of getting his own coffee. though he was appreciative of my spirit. 

Do I have a SPIRIT of GIVING when I am out driving. shopping. LIVING? Am I in such a rush to do MY thing that I get frustrated with others on the road. Or am I able to see that others out there are in need of kindness-such as letting someone cross traffic in front of you because you notice there is no one coming the other direction and yet there is  along line of traffic behind you [obviously not in some situations]. When I'm shopping, do I let it bother me when in a crowd with others shoving and being rude? Or do I ask God to help me be sweet and smiling and GIVING?

These are just a few examples of reaching our hand to the needy and stretching our hands to the poor. beyond giving money to charity and groceries to a food bank. 

Let us allow a SPIRIT of GIVING to permeate our lives from the One Who Gave All.

~ ~ ~

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 

Proverbs 31:10

the series

a price above rubies .10

She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

Proverbs 31:19

I suppose we all know that spindles and distaffs have to do with the spinning of wool or cotton into string and then the weaving of fabric from that string; and quite frankly, I am so very glad that [in general] this is not a chore modern women have. though I have learned how it works and once even saw an old fashioned spindle  and loom in action-very cool. But I am still glad that factories can do that for me now.

Of course, you could get into clothing-laundry-issue---{{ouch}}. I'm not sure I'm ready for that one. Do I clean my family's clothing? [of course]. Does it get folded? [um. most of the time]. Does it get put away? [stumble. but it's clean!]. Are my husband's dress shirts ironed and hung? [I'll get up and iron one in the morning. after I strangle my alarm clock.]
{but that is just one thought... you could go other places, too:
such as clothing preparedness, wardrobe appropriateness, etc.}

And then we get down to what this implies about the heart of a virtuous woman. what I desire my own heart to be.  The fabric [so to speak] of their lives is my responsibility. With God as guide, following my husband's lead as head of our home, this wife and mommy has such a solemn responsibility. to train & care for my children. to obey my husband. with a Godly attitude [my feet are stumbling . again. as I speak]. 

{I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this verse}. 
But my prayer for us is that these truths would more than click in our head [the easy part] but that they would click and TAKE ROOT in our hearts [the hard part]. 

...and that my laundry would learn to take itself to the proper drawers.

~ ~ ~

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 

Proverbs 31:10

the series

a price above rubies .9

She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

Proverbs 31: 18

perceive. to realize or know something. to become aware of a fact.

merchandise. gain or profit. trading goods and/or services. 

candle. light. illumination that is required for her to complete the task.

night. the time of darkness at the end of the day. 

But also a season. 

Have you ever thought of night as being a season? 

Do I know or realize that the gain or profit acquired by my hand for my family is good. and necessary. and I must do my best? Sometimes doing what is best for my family does mean that I must stay up past the setting of the sun. and not just stay up but  accomplish my task before I lay down to rest. 

But beyond my daily tasks [that sometimes seem mundane but are really what my children will look back on and remember as their childhood {just think about what you remember the most from your childhood}], does my candle continue to shine during seasons of darkness?

Does the light of Mommy grow dim when I am stressed? Does the candle of Wife flicker went we meet an obstacle in our path. or is that when I cling to God more so that His light can make my life shine even brighter?

[sadly, I know that all too often my candle has gone out by night.] And this is the heart issue.

Am I willing to see that the work of a wife & mother is my treasure? here on earth but more importantly in heaven. It is good. God gave it to me! 

And when the shadows come and even in the midst of a season of darkness, does my candle go out?

her candle goeth not out by night.

~ ~ ~

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 

Proverbs 31:10

the series

a price above rubies. 8 [guest blogger]

WELCOME to Angela from

Hidden Treasures

I asked her if she were willing to choose a verse in Proverbs 31 to expound in a modern way, and she graciously consented to write about verse 16. Angela is a sweet Christian lady who writes...

~~~

Strengthening Ourselves for the Work

Proverbs 31:17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 

We know that Proverbs 31 is not talking about any one woman in particular. Rather it is talking about the ideal woman. The "virtuous woman" is a measuring stick by which we measure our own selves. Do you want to be a virtuous woman? I do!

The best part of Proverbs 31, in my opinion, is that it was written by Solomon who wrote what was taught him by his mother. Whats so wonderful about that? Well, Solomon's mother was none other than Bathsheba! Bathsheba is remembered for having adultery with King David. Not very virtuous, and yet, God used her to tell the world what character traits should be found in a "Virtuous Woman"! How wonderful that God would do such a thing for her. And just think what God can do with us if we let Him!

She girdeth her loins with strength...

The word gird literally means "to prepare for action". Loins refer the parts of the body between the hips and the lower ribs. This part of the body has long been considered the seat of physical strength and generative power. 

...strengtheneth her arms. ~This seems pretty self explanatory. 

Women in today's world don't have the same requirements women in Solomon's day had. We don't usually buy fields, or make our own fabrics. My husband would flip if I informed him that I bought field while he was at work today! And then I would be strengthening my arms and loins to push mow an entire field since my husband doesn't have time for it himself! I don't think so!

So, really, how can we apply this verse to ourselves in today's modern life style?

Let's face it. Housework and child rearing isn't easy as some may think. Some of our jobs may require muscle - a little elbow grease. If you have a job such as this you may need to strengthen yourself for that job. Yard work, gardening, canning, moving furniture (or the refrigerator) to vacuum under, organizing closets or the garage are all jobs that take muscles. However, most of my responsibilities don't take muscle, necessarily, but stamina and will power. Patience and a good work ethic help quite a bit too! It has been said that a woman's work is never done. I totally agree! I think that may be because we have so many different jobs and there's never a time when we're "off duty". 

So, how do we strengthen (or prepare) ourselves for the jobs we have to do? 

We must trust God. Deuteronomy 33:25 says, ...and as thy days, so shall thy 

strength be. I'm so glad it doesn't say, As thy strength so all thy days be!!! I would have been dead with the birth of my first child! (or sooner!) God is good to provide us with the strength we need to continue (HIS strength!). Especially when it's His work that we are doing. And raising children to love Him IS His work! Pray and ask God for His strength. He's already promised it!

We can prepare ourselves for the work ahead by eating healthy food. (Don't get me started on this! {you can read about it here} I need to stay on topic.) Eating healthy food is a must in order to feel well and do well at the things we are given to do. Did you know the Bible talks a great deal about food? God wants us to enjoy our food, but He wants us to eat the real food that He's provided. It's not selfish to take care of yourself. You MUST take care of yourself if you plan on taking care of everyone else. I Corinthians 6:19-20 ~ What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

*Take your vitamins or iron pills. I hate to spend money on iron pills; but if I don't, my house suffers, meals are boring and the children fend for themselves because I'm useless. Dizzy and tired doesn't get the house work or the laundry done. I used to try to buy the cheapo pills, but I've learned that they don't work either. It may be expensive, but it's worth it if it will help you get your jobs done well. 

A good work ethic is very helpful! Have the washing machine and the dryer running while you are cleaning the bathroom and making your bed. Teach your children to help. At the very least they should be able to clean their own rooms, make their own beds and put away their own laundry. Not only will this help you around your home, but it is teaching them responsibility. 


Lamentations 3:27 ~ It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. If you don't teach them to work hard now, they never will.

We must learn as much as we can. I think we can safely assume that the "virtuous woman" was willing to learn more. Sometimes a few questions directed at the right person might help us to do better in certain areas. Do you have questions about cooking, or cleaning? Maybe you want to learn how to sew or plant a garden? Ask someone who knows or read a "how-to" book on the subject. Ask for help. Do what it takes to get your jobs done to the best of your ability. 


I Thessalonians 4:11 ~ And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands....

Do your best with what you have! Be creative! If you don't have a way to make money at home, the least you can do is save money! I've saved hundreds of dollars by making my own laundry detergents, dryer sheets, fabric softeners, dish washing detergents, and plenty of other things. It's so much cheaper and healthier to make your own cleaning supplies! Gardening and canning save me money every year too, as well as making my own bread. There are other things that save money too. I'm looking into raising chickens and bee keeping right now too. I don't really have the money for such things, but I'd sure like to give them a try and I know God will provide them for me if it's His will. 

I Corinthians 4:2 ~ Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.

~~~

THANK you Angela. We must indeed prepare ourselves both physically and spiritually for the tasks ahead of us each day. May we each take the time to to seek God about ways to strengthen our bodies and spirits so that we can fully and effectively take care of our families. Please visit Angela at

to read her fun, encouraging posts about being a treasure hidden in Christ.

~ ~ ~

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 

Proverbs 31:10

the series

a price above rubies .7 [guest blogger]

WELCOME to Jill from

Jill's Home Remdies

I asked her if she were willing to choose a verse in Proverbs 31 to expound in a modern way, and she graciously consented to write about verse 16. Jill is a sweet Christian lady who writes...

~~~

Proverbs 31:16 says She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

image source

The Proverbs 31 woman is someone that most of us strive to be.  If you, like me, feel you fall short in some area of this chapter (or even several ways), don't give up!  There is always hope ~ thankfully, God's mercies are new every morning.

This particular verse 16 reminds me of a business woman; she was a homemaker and made her home and family her priority, and yet she made business decisions. The verse above says she "considereth", which means she really thought this important decision through; she was not hasty in her actions.  This decision was also made with her family's best interests in mind. 

a price above rubies .6

She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 

Proverbs 31:15

This verse is probably the hardest for me. I know you can train your body to awake at a certain time, but some people are naturally early risers. And I am not one of them! 

But as usual, this verse means more than what it says. Yes, it does mean to rise early and prepare for the rising of your family-both physically and spiritually. But this is as much a heart issue as it is a area of domesticity. 

Domestically, I do need to be sure my children have a healthy breakfast [or healthy snack for break at school as my eldest does not always feel like eating as soon as she wakes up]. I need to be sure there is something readily available for my husband to eat if he chooses. [Yes, my husband gets up alone, earlier than I do. But he's OK with that. We've tried the getting up together, but there is very little I am good for before 630.] 

a price above rubies .5

She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. Proverbs 31:14

As a straightforward interpretation, this verse means exactly what it sounds like. This woman will find her food any place she needs to go to find it. She travels around, trades and seeks foods for her family. 

The best modern resource that I can equate this with [personally. though I would love to hear more/other opinions] for a 'modern woman' is couponing. or at least shopping sales for as much of your food as possible. I am not saying that you HAVE to use a coupon or you CANNOT buy something not on sale [pretty sure many would have very little food in their pantry if that were the case], BUT I do believe that planning meals around foods that can be gotten on sale that week is prudent. And if you have the time to get/cut coupons and match them to sales, YEAH! for you. I have some friends who do this very well and save a lot of money on their grocery budget each month. Sadly, I am not one of them. I want to, and I do think it is something I need to learn/take time to accomplish. 

BUT, I must also tie in that in this endeavor that I must also still do good to my husband.