an element of wise choices: reasoning consequences

When we take a time out and teach our children about something specific that is wrong, do we give them the whole picture?

I do not necessarily mean when they are very small, and we are simply training obedience; but when they are taller, older, more able to reason out a situation. Say, maybe when they are 4 or 5 years old {some may be younger, others older... just a general age here}.

I know that my 8 year old is able to rationalize things she wants to have or do. She understands consequences, even if she does not always think them through: It might be fun to run across the parking lot, but if you are not looking for cars... they might not be looking for you either.

My 5 year old understands actions and consequences fairly well: I should not wave that stick around in the house because I might hit someone or break something...

My 4 year old is learning. And if you can keep her from melting down too quickly {working on that, too!, she can be reasoned with. She understands when it is explained: No, you cannot sit on your baby brother even if all you want to to is hug him because he will then scream at you and pull your hair, and you do not like that. {seriously, that is how she "loves" on him.}

I cannot tell my girls that doing those things are not fun to make them not do them.

Because they ARE fun.

Some things are not necessarily wrong. But when the are done in a wrong way or time or place, they become sin.

And sin is often "fun." 


Racing a friend to your class across the parking lot IS fun. And running is not bad. Twirling around the house with your princess wand... that's FUN. Trying to love your baby brother, that is so sweet! It's a good thing, right?

But I am failing them if I do not teach them to reason out and think through the whole situation.

There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Proverbs 14:12

Now, I am not saying that each of these specific scenarios will result in death if my child chooses to do it; but they each CAN result in hurt.

And it is part of my responsibility as Momma to teach them that while sin, even  thoughtless behavior, can be fun, we must consider any possible consequences before choosing to partake.

And which consequence is worse: having fun while racing in a parking lot and risking being hit by a car [which is WHY Mommy asks you not to do so] OR possibly being called a name for choosing to walk calmly and with a bit of decorum.

Choosing rather to suffer affliction [being called names or mocked? that is painful for any person] with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season [that exhilaration of racing... it's fun!]; Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt [God will reward your doing right]: for he had respect unto the recompence [looked at the possible consequences and chose the eternal reward of doing right over the singular pleasure of doing wrong]  of the reward. Hebrews11:25, 26

While I expect unquestioning obedience [though I have not always taught it consistently], after they have obeyed I sometimes talk to them about possible consequences if they had chosen to disobey.

And on the flip-side, when they choose to disobey and are facing those consequences, I speak to them about the reward they forfeited to have that little pleasure.

...Each child is different. There is not formula or cut & dry system to this.They understand different illustrations and often require different amounts and types of correction.

But every child must be taught how to reason, how to determine if a seemingly inconsequential action or activity does, indeed, have consequences, what those might be, and understand the personal responsibility of deciding if the momentary "pleasures" are worth it.

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the soul's delight {day 29}

DISCLAIMER: I have no illusions that my children are perfect. Their teachers tell me when they have done wrong to prove it! ...and we have correction discussions multiple times daily. It takes W.O.R.K.  And I do realize their ARE children who require extra effort... and I have no idea how I would handle them, except that God promises to give us grace for our own trials and not another's.  And those few times I have received praises... they often come back to haunt me when we have shameful days. I fail everyday. I correct in haste with an unkind voice more often than I would care to admit. I do not train when I should {because it takes T.I.M.E.}. But every time, I know that I have a Loving Heavenly Father who is ready to hold my hand and walk me through it... one-more-time. over-and-over-again. daily.

From Proverbs 29
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. [verse 15]

Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. [verse 17]

Several times through the book of Proverbs, child correcting and training and the rod are mentioned. And it is spoken of twice in this one chapter! 

{While I do believe there is a right and a wrong way to physically punish a child, that is not the point today!}

The fact that I must give correction... I must reprove [tell them they are wrong] and train [show/tell them how to be right] my children...

that is the point.

And these two verses give the basic reasons why.

Children will not learn wisdom [how to think and act with discretion, in a way pleasing to the Lord] without correction and discipline and training. And often punishment is involved [the rod]. Reproof and correction are not punishment... just a 'time out' or spanking or whatever method is employed for punishing wrong- that is not training. Punishment alone is not the answer, but it is a vital part.

 

we must walk this path of life WITH them

As parents, we must take the time- and as a mother I have much more opportunity to do this than my husband... and often fall very short- to speak with and train our children- a kind, loving voice instructing our children what is right, how toys are to be put away, how siblings are to be treated, etc.

Truly, as in verse 15, when we leave untrained, uncorrected children all alone... the mothers are shamed- often to the point of reprimanding in anger [BEEN THERE!]. 

But when loving reproof and training have been employed by {preferably} both mother and father... those children will give rest to whomever is in charge of them, with just a soft word of correction. They will be a delight unto their parent's souls.

Others can tell when a child has had loving correction and consistent discipline [both the rod and the training, hand in hand]... because they will make comments like: "oh, your children are so well-behaved" {to which I try to reply: "They are God's gift to me!"}... or "how do you make them all behave?" {to which I just smile {and try not to crack up laughing}! most people do not really want to know that sometimes crying is involved...}

the seed, the Word {day 20}

Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God. Those by the way side are they that hear...But that on the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience. from Luke 8:4-15, the parable of the Sower

These verses, this story, was in my scheduled Bible reading for today. I intensely wish for my own life to bring forth fruit, and I know it requires patience to see it. 

But just as fiercely I wish for my own children to receive the Seed of the Word of God [become saved] and also bear fruit.

Only on the "good ground" is the Word received AND fruit is born. As a mother, my prayer is for my children's hearts to be good ground... I am not a farmer, but I do know a few things about the general type of soil needed to grow good crops.

First it must also be rich in nutrients. All plants of the earth require different minerals to produce their various fruits. We must allow God to prepare the soil of our children's hearts through consistent Bible reading [family devotions are a wonderful way to do this!], Bible memorization, and Scripture verses displayed where they can read them [when they can read!] Only through the principles learned thus will an honest and good heart be produced. [Mark 10:18]

It must also be moist. A dry heart is less likely to hold onto a seed. Moist soil is soft and pliable. We must ask for and then allow the Spirit of God [rivers of living water- John 7:39] to regularly and consistently pour water into our children's lives. Our children need to see the Spirit's work in our own lives. We must teach and exemplify the truths and principles found in Scripture to help their hearts to remain tender until such time as they understand their personal need for accepting Jesus.

It must also be able to receive sunlight daily. As saved parents, we are light to our children. [Matthew 5:14-16] Our testimony affects how our children receive God. This is a scary thought. My children see me at my absolute worst and know if I strive to allow God's love to shine through me even during the frustrations and difficulties or if it is an act. And we must also be diligent to surround our children, as much as possible, with others' whose lights shine brightly for the Lord.

And last of all, it needs to be in a good location to receive nutrients and water and light. When we neglect to take our children to church or read the Bible at home or speak of the Spirit leading us throughout the day, how can they know?

a crown for old men {day 17}

Today is my youngest daughter's 4th birthday.

this picture is a couple months old

She is  HOOT... and a whirlwind. 

She has the energy of my entire life in her pinky.

And today, while reading the Proverb, I came to this verse:

Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their 
fathers. Proverbs 17:6


And it made me stop and think {as it has before} that MY children... are my parent's "children's children."

with my grandparents

And I want them to be a "crown" to their grandfathers, and to their great-grand-parents!
And of course, I was reminded of another Proverb: Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 

And that reminded me of a post I read yesterday... about "the way." 

Jesus is "the way." 

So, while rules give boundaries that are necessary, and we should expect rules to be obeyed, our main focus should be on pleasing Jesus... making Him our life.

And that in-between relationship... I know my husband {and I do too!} desires to live such a life that his children would see his heritage/legacy as a thing of glory, as something to desire to pass on to their own children one day.

compared to oxen {day 15}

Well, this is not from yesterday's message. 

It is from the Proverb for yesterday. 

Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox. Proverbs 14:4

I heard this verse preached several times while in Bible College. I had never actually understood it before that.

It has become a motto of mine since becoming a mother of 4. {lol}

While I strive, regularly, to put things in order and keep things clean and straightened, it is not a possibility at this season of my life for my home to be perfectly "kept" at all times each day.

And yes, I realize I am comparing my children to oxen. {smiles}

But while they are yet small and in-training... and until they leave, my home will have some measure of chaos. I realize there are those ladies who have several small children and their home never seems to look like it {I applaud them!}, but I am not one of them. And while I hate tripping on blocks and slipping on books, I cannot compare myself to them. 

I must compare myself with what I am asked to do and how diligently I try to do it. I do not have the ability to keep all the plates juggling {pick-up toys, clean laundry, wash dishes, fold laundry, vacuum, put laundry away, etc} at all times every day. And some days, all the plates simply crash and stay there. {oh yes, they do.}

And besides all the "house-keeping" responsibilities, I am also trying to teach my children how to keep a house... as well as to love God and obey His Words. While my example is paramount, I must take time to speak to them also. And we must have hands-on discussions at times... either in actual chores being done over and over or in discipline-both apply.

And I also have several responsibilities outside of 'home-keeping' that I do from my home.

But my point is, people are messy. Life is messy. But when I loose site of the goal: my children being grown, functioning, responsible Christian adults, the messy makes me feel like I am not accomplishing anything. So I have to remind myself....

when my "oxen" are gone... my crib may be a bit neater... but I pray Christ's work is stronger because my children are active in it!

I pray this is an encouragement to someone today!

giving good gifts {day 12}

"after" - this makes my heart sing.

Sometimes, it is frustrating to realize just how much like a little child {my children, no less!} I act. 

When they are asked to complete a very simple chore: please take the toys off of the bookshelves, because you know they do not belong there [this is purely for my own sanity]; their first response is: but I can't reach... whatever toy on whatever shelf... excuses. 

[SOMEONE put it there! and it wasn't Mommy!!] 

{yes. this happened just a few minutes ago... :)}

And then I think about simple tasks my Heavenly Father asks of me... write a kind note to a hurting church member, take a few extra steps and say HI to a visitor in church, let me {HIM} help you love your family as you want to... as is your heart's desire.

... and I say, but LORD! I just can't do that! for whatever reason. {I don't have their address, I feel awkward talking to strangers, sometimes it's hard to let God move in my heart....} 

I forget what I tell my own children: Just say yes, ma'am and do what you can; show me you are trying to obey, and ask for my help and Mommy will help with the rest...

"before"--'nuff said!

Is not God better than that?

and I am reminded of:

For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened...If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? Matthew 7:8 & 11

Yes, Lord. 

That is all the response He asks.

So, today, I wrote a note... and I am going to ask God to help me show my family how much I love them! 

And for tomorrow... we'll just see what tomorrow brings!

one other passage came to mind:  

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: 

for my strength is made perfect in weakness. 

Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, 

that the power of Christ may rest upon me

... for when I am weak, then am I strong.  

2 Corinthians 12:9 & 10

 

 

The bookshelf pictures were from about 2 weeks ago... I did a major decluttering and re-shelving of books. When little fingers think the bookshelves are playgrounds, nothing is safe! Most of the messiness is moved and 'rearranged' books. The "after" picture is almost what it looked like again this morning after we removed several layers of toys... SO happy! I took pictures to PROVE that they CAN look nice :) with all the books on the shelves and "in their home."

noticing a mote {day 10}

One of the passages I read this morning was in Luke 6... where the Lord Jesus says:

Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch? ...why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye? ... Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother’s eye. [select from verses 39-42]

Usually I hear this passage preached or spoken of as a reason for "not judging" your brother... And I like this quote I have seen recently: "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you." which implies that we all sin, because we do!... but there ARE appropriate times and places to give judgment.

And I don't think I'm going where you think I'm going... {smiles}.

I am turning the tables on myself here.

Often, I find myself disciplining my children... for acting: just-like-me! 

Not - how I acted when I was a child {that's another post!}, but how I acted... - yesterday.

I see the mote in my brother's [child's] eye but NOT in my own, until it has driven me crazy... in my child's life! 

Recently, and again this morning, I have purposed to asking God to help me see the beam/mote/problem in my own life before the same thing in my children causes me frustrations. 

Because- while I can punish them for doing wrong and teach them about what is appropriate and kind, etc. {as I should!} -until I actually acknowledge [that's the hardest part] and change these situations in my own life, all the teaching and disciplining and punishing will be counter-productive!

And then the Lord gives grace and wisdom for me to deal with the same in my children's lives. {It is always a lesson in patience.}

{Being a mother is one of the 

most rewarding things I have ever done, 

but it is also quite humbling! :)}

when life happens {day 8}

You know the saying "Life is what happens after you make plans."?

That was my day today. I had plans to "farm the kids out" {not really, just asked a trusted, sweet lady to keep them for the day}... so I could concentrate on some truly necessary things in our home that keep getting pushed further and further into {not onto, that would imply I'm still entertaining thoughts of them. haha} the back burner. 

And then, last night, I heard a racking, hoarse cough coming from the girls' room. I knew right away which one it was... my baby girl. Her congestion had finally settled, hard, right in her chest.

She woke up coughing... and crying, which made it worse. And made my momma-heart hurt.

But even amid the fatigue, the Lord gave me strength and brought certain things to my remembrance to help me help her. We got her coughing calmed down, and she went back to sleep for several hours... then it was time to get her sisters up for school. 

 

A little while later, the baby's nasal drainage caused his tummy to not appreciate his breakfast... {but he jumped right back up to being his normal, happy little self... and we are all cleaned and disinfected. hehe}

All this to paint a backdrop for this one thought:

...[God's] strength is made perfect in [my] weakness.  

2 Corinthians 12:9 [added]

While this has been a far cry from my "worst day ever," life happened to bring me a day far different than I had planned. And because I know HIM... I can rest in His strength when days just don't turn out the way I wanted.

edited: {not saying I always do rest in this strength, just that I can... and it is blessed}

I pray you can also find rest in His strength when life happens... after you make those plans {smiles}.

thine own path {day 4}

Let thine eyes look right on [on your own path], and let thine eyelids look straight before thee [literally, right in front of you]. Ponder the path of thy feet [think about where you are going], and let all thy ways be established [this will strengthen what you are doing]. Turn not to the right hand nor to the left [don't be looking around while you are walking your path]: remove thy foot from evil [that will protect you from evil].

Proverbs 4:25-27 [added]

Something that is often a difficult lesson to learn, whether by child or adult, is that of keeping our eyes on our own path.

The lesson in these verses is something we are working on in our children's lives. It is natural enough for them {all of us} to notice when others do wrong. I do not discourage them to gently and only one time tell a friend if they think they are doing wrong. That is friendship and kindness. After that, it is the authority's responsibility to notice and take care of it {with the exception of violence-that is always to be made known to an authority, immediately}.

But because noticing others' faults is so very natural, this lesson is necessary to learn. It is for children to learn that they must be responsible for their own path. Us too!

Often, when there is a "sight to behold" of something or other, one or more of my girls will literally walk into a wall in order to keep gawking. Turning around to see another child be scolded, straining the neck to watch some activity that seems strange... all these distractions are too much for them to watch AND know where they are headed! To carefully see something, they must stop. and not continue on their path.

The same is true spiritually. We must all learn to look at our own path. I must teach my children by example to keep my own eyelids straight before me, lest I be straining to see another's fault and slam into a spiritual brick wall.... it is just as painful spiritually as it is physically! And if I am to take time to notice something in another's path, I must stop. I must stop my own forward progress to see someone elses' path. This often leads to evil {my judging unrighteously of another}.

So, for today, I am re-focused on keeping my eyes on my own path {which includes my children's paths :)} and teaching them by example that our first and most important responsibility is our own path {actions}... not someone elses.

the trust of babes

If you are a momma or have ever been close to small children, you will recognize what I am talking about here.

{not my kitchen sink! but isn't that tile pretty?}

I stand still. My hands are immersed in that sudsy, warm water known to all women... at the kitchen sink. {smiles}  My mind wanders a million miles away-to time past or our children's future.... or just a few feet away to thoughts of my honey.

And then I feel it, the little fingers tugging at my skirt {and my heart strings!} while little legs struggle to stand. This miniature body leans full force into me. He knows I will not let him fall {at least not too hard, yet}. He trusts me.

I sit. I bend my body all the way down to the floor. They need mommy to be accessible. Sometimes all at once, but usually one by one, little bodies come to me, wanting arms to wrap around. The baby pushes through on hands and knees still. He grabs whatever he can reach and uses my strength to help him stand, again. His body lunges for me. He trusts my love.

taken over a year ago!

This trust, all my children showed it as babies. This all-consuming confidence is how I must trust God my Father to care for my day-to-day. He DOES care, even for the nitty gritty!

I must rest knowing that He will catch me should I fall when struggling to stand. He never moves. [Malachi 3:6; Hebrews 13:8], so He is always right where I need Him to be when I need Strength. 

I must trust, rest as securely as my child using me to learn to stand, in His love for me.

And so should you... because His love for you is the same!

what the Lord helped me accomplish!

I did this post on my family's blog also, but thought I would share it here as these are what consumed much of my time the few weeks before school began!

----

Here are the girls' dresses the Lord allowed me to put together in the weeks just before school began. There are a few that did not get photographed yet because they were either dirty or being worn... I'll see about getting pix of them another day. Please excuse the need for pressing.

Kyria

close up of the braid we did on the collar

 we found the idea here

Kyria

Anya {the green spots are turtles}

Anya

Anya

Anya

Kyria {one of my favs!}

Mikalah

Mikalah

Kyria {the one that has a Molly match}

close up of the ruffle

Here is a wonderful tutorial if anyone out there wonders how I did this. I measured from their shoulder down to their waist to know where I wanted to trim the shirt. I used the excess from the shirt bottoms to create the ruffles. As long as your shirt is not tight and has some give, and the skirt is at least as wide as the shirt stretched out a bit, you do not actually have to measure how wide, etc. like in the tutorial. But if you are starting from scratch with a T and some fabric, the fabric should be at least 1.25 times as wide as the bottom of the shirt. {if that makes any sense :)}

Every single one of these came from a thrifted skirt-so I did not have to hem anything! Praise the Lord. :) And most of the t-shirts were thrifted also. The skirts for Kyria were actually ladies'! I can hardly believe how tall she is getting. I also do not usually talk about how much things cost, but ALL of these dresses plus the few that did not make it into the pictures cost less than $40 total {that's 14 [+?] dresses!!} plus 4-5 days of "mommy moments" {15 minutes here... 30 minutes there...} to put them together. and THAT is exciting to me! YEAH!! God is good.
---
so there you go. :) School is now in full swing, and the girlies are enjoying their new dresses!

is my help destructive?

As parents, our natural instinct is to protect our children. from all evil and harm. and that is part of a parent's responsibility. 

But another part is to teach and train. And this is where the protection instinct needs to step aside at times [oh, how hard that is!].

When our children are very small, we [parents] are pretty much the only ones who correct and discipline our children. teaching manners, kindness, and self-control with love and patience [sometimes begging God for that proper spirit].

But when my children are older and leave me every day to attend school or go to an age-appropriate Sunday school or even just go to a friends house for an afternoon, what do I teach them about authority? about responsibility? about respect?

It mostly stems from how I react to others correcting my child. [it also is learned by how I respect/obey my own authority-but that's another post].

I must realize that my child is a sinner [aren't we all? Romans 3:23] and he/she WILL do wrong. and need correction. at school or a friend's house. even in children's church. 

And in order to teach them respect for authority, I must be willing to allow other people to have authority and correct my child. And I, as the parent, must also be willing to enforce their obedience to that other authority. Otherwise I will be teaching my child that I, the parent, can take their responsibility of obedience on my own shoulders. and one day she would have a very rude awakening.

Galatians 6:7,8- Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. [We will all reap the consequences from our OWN actions. and we must TEACH this truth to our children.]

If I do not teach the reality of consequences---

Romans 4:11,12- As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God. [we are each responsible for our own actions]

and

I Peter 4: 3-5- For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries:  wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you: who shall give account to him that is ready to judge the quick and the dead. [there will be those who do not understand when we choose to live differently, but God will judge]

---then, when our children are all grown up, they will likely continue to expect Dad and Mom to bail them out when they have done wrong. and will probably live as though you can bail them out in heaven, too.

And here is the point: 

There comes a time [earlier than you might expect and years before they become a teenager!] when I cannot and should not protect my children from themselves. and the consequences of their actions. This is how they learn responsibility and integrity.

Deliverance 
before a lesson is learned 
is DESTRUCTIVE.

 and I do not want to destroy the most precious gifts God has given me!

 

where modesty begins

I have found that many people, when they see that someone is going to talk/write about modesty, completely tune out because they think the subject is going to be pants and tight clothing. our bodily coverings.  but it isn't.

Modesty was something greatly stressed as "what you wear" to girls in the churches I grew up in. It was not something I really studied for myself until my husband and I had our first child. Our first child is a girl.

After the initial reaction of I don't want to dress her in all pink and all lace and only frills [I know. I'm not the normal girly-mom and her favorite color is now pink!], I became more practical in my thoughts and began contemplating just how WOULD we dress her? 

lol. I'm wearing pink!---my sweet girl

Cute, trendy clothing is hard to be immune to. Classic clothing is not synonymous with modest. and modest clothing is really, REALLY hard to find. and my first THREE children are girls!

When they were infants, it was so simple. cute dresses. ruffly bloomers. But I knew that when they were a little older it would be time to address covering ones' self modestly. and how.

and then why? and...


what is modesty, anyway? so let's start there.

[I am no expert. This is simply what the Lord has taught me through personal Bible study and Godly influences.]

modesty: behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency

some synonyms to help: unassuming, meek, decent, ladylike, pure, innocent, sedate

In order to guide my girl's into having a modest appearance, I must address behavior and manner {attitude} because modesty is so much more than the clothing we wear on our bodies {as the Lord is so patiently teaching me.}

this one keeps my laughing!

This verse is the only place I find in Scripture that puts the two [modest & clothing] together:
In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel... [I Timothy 2:9]. and there appears to be an order here. We must be 'in like manner' before we will adorn ourselves in modest apparel.

Going back to verses 1-8 [please feel free to go find your Bible!] we see reference to giving thanks,  praying for all men, living quietly and peaceably, lifting holy hands to pray, living in honesty, desiring to see people saved--in THAT like manner.

True, Godly modest apparel will only follow praying for others and quiet living. and giving thanks and living honestly. It follows a proper behavior and manner of life. which can only come from a personal relationship with Christ. [am I first teaching my children to love God with the intent of leading them to salvation?]

Then. how do I teach my girls to have modest behavior and manner of life? {as in, what is my goal? because I fail every. single. day.} I must [attempt to] model it [this requires personal Bible study and seeking God's face in prayer to BE MORE LIKE CHRIST.]

point out other ladies who also model it.

speak plainly yet gently & privately when they notice those who are NOT behaving with modesty. because they will notice.

So, now. what IS modest behavior? {by definition} being decent, ladylike, sedate & pure. in my actions. speech. responses. facial expressions. body language. with a proper attitude.

...Does my reaction in a stressful situation bring added stress? Am I known as the one who will roll her eyes when others stray off course? Do I speak so loudly that everyone around knows my family's conversation? Do I have an attitude that publicly conveys my personal disapproval about things that are none of my business? [in essence, do I strive to be seen? to make my thoughts and opinions the center of attention?]

OR

...is my speech quiet. gentle. unassuming? [only when I am conscious of Him.] are my responses in a stressful environment relaxed. composed. calming? {Christ-like?} [ugh.] when others' actions are distasteful, am I the one who points others away? looking for the good. directing the focus elsewhere. [only if I remember that I am no better!]

{LOVE} this face

I will never be accomplished in this modest behavior or attitude. Though saved by grace, I am still a sinner. But I strive for it. It must be a conscious decision each day. a prayer on my lips. I have to be purposeful. I must point my children to Christ... so they can also point others to Him 
because modesty is so much more than the clothing we wear on our bodies.

Modesty is how we cover our heart. 

with Christ. 

His love. 

His humility. 

His kindness. 

His graciousness. 

While people do judge our outward appearance, and Christian women have need to "dress modestly," it is a lie if our heart is not covered by Him. and continually addressing the "issue of  modest clothing" to young girls still learning to follow Christ in their own hearts will not draw them towards the like manner also, which must come first because modesty is so much more than the clothing we wear on our bodies. {yes, i said it again. I think I may need to read that over and over for myself!}

answering {simple} questions .3

As before, I must preface this by saying that only if you as the parent/adult are already saved  

can you truly answer a child's questions regarding salvation. 

Only God can guide your words to speak appropriately.

read part 1 here

read part 2 here

6. How does being saved take your sins away? 

and

 7. Can a person be saved without asking Jesus?

I'm taking notes, Momma!

{I have not personally ever heard small children ask these questions, and some of these thoughts may be a little hard for very small children to understand, but I pray this can be a launching point for your own study into how to answer your own sweet babies.}

When you understand that you have sin in your heart and believe what the Bible says about why we have to be saved to live with God in heaven and you make the choice to ask Jesus to save you , then Jesus takes away your sin. He does that by being a substitute. When you do wrong, you have to be punished. But if someone else takes your punishment [maybe a friend gets a spanking or put in time-out FOR you], that is a SUBSTITUTE. that friend takes your wrong as his own responsibility,  and that is what Jesus did for us! When He came to live on earth as a baby and then grew up without ever sinning and then died on the cross, He became our SUBSTITUTE. Because he was not guilty of any sin, as we are, God allowed Him to take our punishment. He took the responsibility for our sins.

The Bible tells us very plainly that no one can enter heaven without accepting Jesus' SUBSTITUTION. In John 14:6, Jesus said: No man cometh unto the Father [lives with Him in heaven] but by me [trusting Jesus]. And in Acts 4:12, the Bible tells us this about Jesus: Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name [JESUS] under heaven given among men whereby we must be saved. We cannot be good enough or go to a certain church or be baptized to help us get to heaven. Jesus is the only path that leads to living with God in heaven forever.

Some Scripture Reading:

I Corinthians 15:3,4

II Corinthians 5:17-21
Galatians 4:3-7
Ephesians 2:4-9

Titus 2:11-14

{There are many more Scripture passages that deal with all of these salvation questions, and only individual Bible study can help you find them all. I have only tried to include a few passages to help you get started.}