on being a friend {day 18}

At the end of today's Proverb is the verse [24]: A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

 

One part of what this blog is about my learning to be the right kind of friend - even to YOU, whom I may never know on this earth.

I strive to show myself friendly. I do not come by this naturally. I am not a "people-person." I do not enjoy crowds. But I do try to be pleasant when spoken to and not completely ignore the people around me. This takes a conscious effort.

I also make an effort to show how Jesus is the friend that sticketh closer than a brother in my own life.  

And because He loves me unconditionally, I can love others - even those I have never met.

But what happens if I utterly ignore the fact that not every person I speak to {even through this blog} is a Christian or is possibly only a babe in Christ? 

And what if I disregard the possibility not everyone who attends my church regularly is a born-again believer and that not everyone grows the same. Even some people in full-time ministry positions come out as older adults and admit to not really knowing they are saved.

Earlier in the chapter is a verse that often saddens me [19]: A brother [friend or relation] offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.

Well, a brother [friend] can be offended... by what I've said, implied, worn, done, etc. 
 
And the fact that he is harder to be won than a strong city seems to imply that I should try to win a friend back. If the friendship was broken over something offensive I did or said, etc., I should care when a friendship is broken or hindered.

Which leads me to also think that possibly, I should at least strive to not be offensive in the first place. Of course, truth divides. There is no denying that. 

But it should be the TRUTH that is dividing. Because getting a friend back is harder than storming a castle!

I often ask God to put a filter on my words so that I may not come across as offensive to those who may be weaker than I am.

I also ask for Him to help my heart accept rebuke when it is shown to me that I may have been offensive--to whomever. 

And while I do not wish to ostracize the world from hearing what I have to say, I realize that some will not appreciate the words I speak or type. 

But my prayer is that the truth pushes them away, not the manner in which I speak it.

So, today, I pray that you find a friend when you come here. 

I pray that none of what I speak is offensive to those looking for encouragement in living Godly lives. 

And I pray that those who know me, you know-in real life, could say that my life’s attitude matched the kindness I strive to show forth here.

is that ENTHUSIASM I see? {day 14}

Sunday's and today's "be still and know" posts both come from the messages yesterday.

Last evening my Pastor spoke from Psalm 119:33-40 about several attitudes of King David that caused him to have such a close relationship with God.

Amid the points such as: be teachable, desire understanding, bend your ear towards listening to God, and others.... the point that I suppose stood out the most to me was the last one.

Coming from verse 40: Behold, I have longed after thy precepts: quicken me in thy righteousness...

and focusing in on the word quicken, my pastor went on to give an example of it...

**At the end of music camp where where his granddaughter attended this past summer, he and his wife went to here the grand performance that would close the 2 weeks. Not really knowing what to expect, they were pleasantly greeted with beautiful music well-performed by dedicated teenagers.

What impressed the evening on him most was the obvious love and enthusiasm the conductor had! He described him as taking the wand and pointing vigorously at the different sections and waving it up and down and all over to direct the various instruments in their different parts of the music. The way he was gesturing to convey what he meant left me tired. {lol} To think of a man moving with such vigor for an entire symphony is exhausting. He had an evident joy for the music... for leading the orchestra. And the students played with equal enthusiasm to the point they were not still but moving and swaying with the music during the entire performance.**


This... this obvious enthusiasm and excitement was used to describe the word: quicken. 

 And David used quicken to describe how he wanted to live righteousness-with enthusiasm!

And it got me to thinking.... about my children {of course!}. How it brings an unspeakable joy and thrill to my heart when my children are happy to see me.

But I think especially of those few months as small babes when they cannot express verbally their joy... and their whole little, tiny bodies express it for them. Their arms wave, their faces nearly split from smiling, their little legs just pump like they are trying to push themselves into orbit {smiles}. My heart melts, and I just enjoy holding them.


When I have obvious [meaning others notice it] enthusiasm for whatever I am doing ...simply BECAUSE I am serving the Lord... could that not bring God a little bit of a "parent thrill"? 

I realize that I am giving God my finite emotions, but we know that God joys in knowing His children obey His word, desire to serve Him, have His joy... and He patterned the Christian relationship after "father & child" for a reason. 

Maybe He wanted us to have the opportunity to know more about Him as we teach and train children for His glory.

 

And today, I am trying to be enthusiastic about some housework I need to get done! {smiles}

having answers {day 13}

For nearly 2 weeks I have posted each day of things the Lord has shown me either from personal Bible reading to in the simple day-to-day of being at home with my children.

Today, I have read several familiar passages {as was in my scheduled reading} and 1 of my usual "daily devotionals" and there has not been one particular thought or lesson that has made itself shareable. Several previous posts have been brought to mind though.  {smile-ever learning...[being a more faithful witness of His Love] ~ [personal responsibility] ~ [how I can have strength] ~ [seeing my own faults in my children’s needs] ~ [learning to live as His child from my own children] to name a few}

Often the Lord shows me things that simply are not meant for me to share with the world, because my desire for this blog is to not be divisive. I do realize there are some who do not agree with 100% of what I share, but my prayer is that nothing I write can be taken and turned on the Lord to say: Look, she claims to be following Jesus and yet she is constantly having other Christians criticize or rebuke her for this or that. That makes my testimony of no effect for God’s glory.

Some things the Lord shows me personally are quite controversial, such as with dress standards or music our family will listen to or even how I plan to vote...I have personal, God-directed, husband-approving {yes, that is important to me!}, philosophies and opinions about all of those areas.

And there are blogs out there where the blogger’s simple desire to to share everything... and that’s fine!

But that is not my blog’s purpose. I strive to only speak of how God is changing my own heart.

Some posts I hesitate to publish because I am uncertain of the reaction, and I must be sensitive to my family’s place of influence in our church. I do not want to come across as pointing a finger at anyone. The “followers” number often fluctuates and I wonder... was it something I wrote or did they just really not understand what this blog was about when they first started following? [I don’t actually write to grow a “following,” but I do notice those things.]

Most of my posts are first read by my husband. A few posts have been read by close, Godly friends before I hit “publish.”

One verse in my reading today that perhaps prompted these thoughts was in Proverbs 13:10- Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well-advised there is wisdom.

While I wish to speak only truth, and I strive to do it in love, I also wish to do so with a visible humility so as to avoid contention due to my personage.

My heart’s desire is to not come across as someone who gushes that she has found all the answers because even though the principles I do find and share come from Scripture, I will never have ALL the answers [and neither will you {smiles}].

And aside from salvation, there is much of our life as Christians that is simply to be governed by the two great commands Jesus shared in Matthew. I wrote a little about that on {day 1}. But I do praise the Lord that I know where to FIND the answer to anything I need.

I suppose that is it for today. I was still... the Lord showed me things I have already written about that need more attention in my own life. 

And He reminded me of my need to be peaceable and show humility in all things I write.

 

the fulness of life {day 11}

I read recently where someone was saying that [one of] the problem with the church is that she is not teaching us about how to "work." One commenter dubbed it the "doctrine of vocation."  

Here is a quote which nearly sums the article: 

"Christianity is given (sold?) to us, in the main, as a life of evangelism, morality and church activities. [yet] Our lives are made up of finely drawn details. Each day is full of countless ones. We do all these 'little' things at home, at work, and in the marketplace and they just don’t get a lot of sermon time." [you can read its entirety here]  

{And I believe this man is honestly speaking from a sincere heart. This is no attack on him or his thoughts. I do not even know him!}

This got me to thinking... and wondering:
Are we supposed to learn how to "act Christian" at work? Is there a different way to express our faith in the workplace as opposed to in church on Sunday?

and that made me be still... to listen and know.It is almost cliche among Christians {especially those who are faithful to church and church activities} to say: Let Christ have preeminence...  

{this is the first verse that popped in my head after reading the blog post: Colossians 1:18, And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence} 

It seems to be often preached: Put Jesus first... and you will have peace, you will know joy, life will have meaning, etc.

Often, both phrases are used interchangeably.

But they are not the same.

And I am not actually supposed to put Jesus first.

I am to put Him only.

Preeminence implies that nothing else can compare.

There is no list for Him to be "first" on because He IS "the list."

In the beginning of my Christian journey, He was the "first one" that I reached for/called out to in certain situations... but because He is always enough, I ended up realizing that He is the only anything that I need in any situation.
The problem, as I find in the Bible, is not that the church does not meet this supposed need of teaching us how to live in our different compartments: church, work, play, with friends, with family, in a store, in a restaurant, at a church function as opposed to a work function, with church friends as opposed to unsaved colleagues, etc.

The problem is that: WE LIVE IN COMPARTMENTS.

If I could just realized {and convey through example and testimony} that Christ is to simply be my life... I would see how He permeates [fills] every aspect... without special training or doctrines.

Further reading in that same passage reveals: For it pleased the Father that in him should all fulness dwell; ....by him to reconcile all things unto himself; by him... whether they be things in earth, or things in heaven. Colossians 1:18-20. {He is the fulness of all things... in heaven or on earth.} [emphasis mine]

and further still...
And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now hath he reconciled ... through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight: If ye continue in the faith ... and be not moved away from the hope of the gospel, ...even the mystery which hath been hid from ages and from generations, but now is made manifest to his saints:  to whom God would make known ...the glory of this mystery... which is Christ in you, the hope of glory: whom we preach, ... whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily. Colossians 1:21-29 [selected, emphasis mine]
 
If I remember correctly, Paul, though a traveling missionary... worked. He had a "vocation" outside of being a minister of the Gospel. And yet, when speaking of Christ, Paul never mentions anything apart from Jesus is the fulness... of... well, of life. Jesus is the fulness of life-all life. He is not just the fulness of going to church or of witnessing or of having family devotions.

  

If the Spirit whispers within me to speak to a perfect stranger about the Gospel, Jesus is being the fulness "in the store." 

If I realize that I have not given a true effort in a particular area of my secular job, then I know that I have not allowed Jesus to be the fulness in my "vocation." 

When I rest in His strength and find joy in His contentment, He becomes the fulness of any area/compartment I may have in my life.

Thus, Jesus becomes my life; and I do not need to blame my church for not teaching me how to live in my compartments.

noticing a mote {day 10}

One of the passages I read this morning was in Luke 6... where the Lord Jesus says:

Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch? ...why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye? ... Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother’s eye. [select from verses 39-42]

Usually I hear this passage preached or spoken of as a reason for "not judging" your brother... And I like this quote I have seen recently: "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you." which implies that we all sin, because we do!... but there ARE appropriate times and places to give judgment.

And I don't think I'm going where you think I'm going... {smiles}.

I am turning the tables on myself here.

Often, I find myself disciplining my children... for acting: just-like-me! 

Not - how I acted when I was a child {that's another post!}, but how I acted... - yesterday.

I see the mote in my brother's [child's] eye but NOT in my own, until it has driven me crazy... in my child's life! 

Recently, and again this morning, I have purposed to asking God to help me see the beam/mote/problem in my own life before the same thing in my children causes me frustrations. 

Because- while I can punish them for doing wrong and teach them about what is appropriate and kind, etc. {as I should!} -until I actually acknowledge [that's the hardest part] and change these situations in my own life, all the teaching and disciplining and punishing will be counter-productive!

And then the Lord gives grace and wisdom for me to deal with the same in my children's lives. {It is always a lesson in patience.}

{Being a mother is one of the 

most rewarding things I have ever done, 

but it is also quite humbling! :)}

deliver me {day 2}

...to deliver thee from the way of the evil man,  from the man that speaketh froward things;

Proverbs 2:1-12

We must seek after God's Words and hide them in our heart in order to acquire knowledge and wisdom

But just having God's Words in our head {memorized}  does not automatically make us wise. I am sure most of us know examples of that. 

We must incline our ear and apply our hearts... which indicates a heart issue of even wanting to have God's wisdom.

Only when my heart is right in applying God's Words will discretion preserve me from the evil man and from the man who speaks frowardly [to lead astray, be stubborn or disobedient]. 

My desire for today is to allow God to work on my heart so that His Word can be applied... and my ear will be inclined to hear His leading so that I may teach my children also to hear God's voice for themselves.

a mother's law {day 1}

My son, hear the instruction of thy father, 

and forsake not the law of thy mother: 

For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, 

and chains about thy neck.

Proverbs 1:8, 9 

When I read these verses this morning, I was struck by them from a different angle than I have been in the past.

Normally, I think: these are for me as a child--I should not forsake the spiritual upbringing my parents gave me. I think of children in general, even my own children, and how they need to learn to listen and obey-and I must teach them this.

But this morning, I noticed the words the law of thy mother-not that children should listen and obey but what they should listen to and obey. 

As the "mother" here, what is my law? 

Law means regulations, standards, rules, guidelines, doctrine.

And my law as mother should line up with God's Word in principles and doctrine. 

My law should be the same as Jesus command in Matthew 22:36-40: Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Many of my 31 days will probably come from the Proverb for the day because I decided that this month I wanted to get back into the habit of reading a Proverb-a-day. But we also have special services this month in our church... and the Lord often speaks to me through situations that arise with my children!

doing right verses having rights

Sometimes, the difference between having rights and doing right is a wavy, blurry line.

this is not about gun control! {but aren't they cute?}

I have many privileges as an American. I have vasts amounts of opportunities when I am willing to work and sacrifice. I have all the ability I need to DO right, because Jesus is [or should be] my strength.

But this "my rights' attitude" [me time, anyone?] that I have, on occasion, been sucked into is not Biblical. For one thing, it is putting the focus on ME. I'ved studied through a little of that before. [This is not to say we do not ever need rest or an occasional break. But there is a "me mentality" that comes from thinking only of me and what *I* need/want. And that is what I am talking about being caught up in.]

And if, as a wife and mother, I am overwhelmed by certain tasks or expectations, then that is my cue to step back and take a few evaluations of myself and my motives.

I must evaluate my motive for doing this overwhelming task and determine who exactly set the expectation. The only true, pure Biblical motive is to do all to the glory of God [I Corinthians 10:31]. The Lord sets expectations of what He requires from us; but He also ALWAYS gives us the strength to meet them. {-because God gets glory when His strength is magnified through our weakness: 2 Corinthians 12:6-10-}

Evaluating my motive is often a soul-searching, prayerful endeavor. Our hearts are deceitful [Jeremiah 17:9]. We will lie to ourselves when not careful to ask the Lord to shed His light on our motives, because sometimes we try to do things {even GOOD things} for the wrong reason. And sometimes we let others put expectations on us that are not from Him.

let her rest while she will...

So, if my motive is pure and the expectations set are from the Lord, why may I feel as though there is not sufficient strength?

This is where I often get convicted, because there are so very many times that  I KNOW I am doing what I ought. But the strength is not there. When there is not enough strength to get through the day or the project or whatever, I realize that I really am doing this "good thing" all by myself. I have once again taken the reins into my own hands... plucked them from my Father, who expertly handles them while I falter and stumble through.

So, while I have many "rights" as an American and I even have much freedom as a Christian, when I get into the mindset of "having a right" for something or to do something, I forfeit the strength that comes from following the path God has set for my day, because God will not give me His strength to follow my own path.

thoughts on singleness

I had a conversation recently with an unmarried lady friend. She has a growing ministry with small children and visions for that ministry to thrive! I appreciate her zeal, and her love for God is evident.

Yet, she told me that she receives comments regularly from people about her unmarried status. I assume these are well-meaning people, as they seem to think the singleness she finds herself in somehow prohibits her from having a full, vibrant life and ministry.

Let me tell you, my unmarried friend, your life can be as full as you let it be - whether you are married or not! [I have knowledge of more than my share of people who are married yet have neither a full life nor a vibrant ministry for God!]

Singleness lends itself to a bit of freedom that those married, especially with children, do not have. I married right out of college. I do not have experience of the trials or temptations that come with serving the Lord as an adult while still single, but I have witnessed those who do it right as well as those who do it wrong.

 

In light of that, all ministries are simply an opportunity to serve God. And when we allow Him, He puts us in place to have certain ministries. No where does He tell us that ministry is only for married people. Actually, Paul was given liberty to tell us that if you are content to be single, then that can actually give you opportunities that would otherwise be a closed door [I Corinthians 7:1-9].

Serving God is a command to all Christians: single, married, divorced,  child or adult. [Matthew 20:26-28; 28:19-21; Mark 16:15-16; I Timothy 4 {especially verse 6 and 10-12} and many more].  Telling someone their ministry cannot be full for whatever reason {unless pointing out an error in love: Ephesians 5:6-11} is not helpful or Christ-honoring.

As married ladies and mothers, we should pray for those in singleness-that they would be content in Christ. Pray that the Lord would protect them from temptations or "evil" appearances. We should befriend them, on a personal level, so they realize and understand our genuine concern for them as people! When we see evidence of genuine service to God and growth in His word, we should even point them out {but NOT elevate} to our children as an adult to trust and point out areas of their life that they should emulate {such as a humble, teachable spirit or a willing, helpful attitude} and show our children that life is not all about growing up and having a family. Life is all about learning how to SERVE JESUS!

And to my single friends, remember that you are part of the body that is the bride of Christ! You have his love to comfort and protect. You have His peace to be your companion and guide. You have His wisdom to direct your steps and His tender mercies to correct you when needed. [There are MANY Psalms as well as other passages that speak of God's comfort and protection and peace and guidance and tender mercies! These for for ALL Christians, not just married people.] Never let anyone's personal opinions on your marital status allow you to believe that anything you are doing for God is somehow less valuable than what us married folks are doing!
 
 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

{While I am a married lady and my main reason for starting this blog was to encourage other married ladies, I would not say that this blog is only for married ladies. While many of my posts have examples from married life or from being a mother, the premise for Becoming God's Gift is not just for married ladies!! We were all created and designed to work together towards reaching others for Christ. While my personal goal is to become the wife and mother God wants me to be, I also want to learn to be the friend God desires me to be too!}

on chicken sandwiches, free speech, and Christianity

making you hungry? {me too!}

Understanding and realizing the reasoning behind this past Wednesday's Chick-fil-a Appreciation Day, I have a few thoughts weighing on my heart. My husband guest posted yesterday about it from a slightly different angle.

But today my thoughts are centered around the "christian culture" I grew up in. The one that says, if you do this you must be a good person and if you do THAT you can't possibly be used by God. Now, to disclaim here, not everyone I grew up around had that attitude! But my entire family were babes in Christ when I was a small child, so my parents learned what was accepted in the church who reached them. They embraced and studied the Bible, but were also influenced by this philosophy. Today, they are different people.

They are different and so am I because the Christian life is NOT a list of rules. It is not "do’s and don’t’s." But all life IS a daily struggle against sin. And having rules and guidelines can help us stay in line (indeed, they are necessary for teaching and learning), but "living by the rules" is not the  goal. And that is where so many get off track.

I did not go to Chik-fil-a on the "Appreciation Day" -partly because I did not have 2 hours to wait in line with 4 children and partly because I did not have $20+ in my budget to buy their food (no matter how much I like it!) But as I watched the facebook statuses and pictures from my friends who did go grow in number, I got to wondering if it was all really such a good idea. It was almost as if people got the idea that getting a meal from that particular restaurant on that particular day meant something to the lost world out there- like seeing those lines around the buildings told them something important. Because it didn’t.

When Christian values are attacked, it is no longer just a matter of "free speech" or the definition of marriage. It becomes a matter of showing the Love of Christ.

Yes, our freedoms are in jeopardy. The sanctity of marriage, the symbol of Christ's love for His church, is being marred by sinners. But it is because we are ALL sinners.

I do not personally know many people who claim the gay lifestyle, but I do know some. I am even related to one (gasp)- and I can’t change them.

shocker: They cannot change themselves! No one is born a homosexual (a sodomite). It is not an illness. It is not "who they are." It is a sin. [Mathew 19:4-6; Romans 1:20-32; I Corinthians 6:9-1; I Timothy 1:5-11 {and Jude 4-7 tells us in this Age of Grace we still can look to Sodom Gomorha as an example of wickedness and God’s judgment of it}] Satan has duped them into thinking it is what will make them happy. Because--"for a season"--it does. [Hebrews 11:24-30]

The only way anyone can change from that thinking is with the help of the Almighty God who made them, the only one who loves them with a love so pure He DIED for their freedom.

And the only way most of them will know of His love is if they SEE it in a Christian (you and me).

Many, strikingly many, who live a life of sodomy KNOW of Jesus. they have been preached at- both before and after making their "preferences" known. But preaching AT someone does not show love.

Eating a chicken sandwich on August 1 did nothing to tell anyone that Jesus loves them. There was likely no one there to witness to. I am quite sure most anyone asked would have said they are a Christian. That's why they were supporting a company whose founder has Biblical moral principles and is not ashamed to say so.

So, while I will eat at Chik-fil-a on occasion, when my pocketbook allows (I can make a good chicken sandwich right home!), more than anything else, I need to remember to pray for those lost souls. I need to spend time weeping over them before the one who loves them so purely. I need to LIVE my life to SHOW them that pure love that ONLY He can pour through me. Yes, what they do is wrong. Yes, we must give the gospel-to any who will listen and even when unsolicited. But just telling people of any lifestyle that what they are doing is wrong and telling them Jesus died to take their sins away does NOTHING until they realize they are missing something.   

Why would a happy male "couple" listen to a man tell them they a living wickedly when just yesterday he was mad at his wife and listing the ills of his married life? Why would a female couple want to have what YOU have with your husband? If you are constantly despondent over this or that or belittling your husband for not taking out the garbage (or whatever), I would’t want what you had either. 

Some people are searching for God, and are ready and willing to repent when confronted with the gospel. And I rejoice and praise the Lord when those times occur! But most are not there. And if they do not see a difference (as in A BETTER WAY) in the manner in which WE live, why would they even care that we want to share it with them?

"free speech" requires SPEAKING!

Oh! that Christians would be as fired up about attending and supporting their local churches as they were about supporting a company who has a moral stance. 

Oh! that we would be as ready to share the gospel of Jesus with LOVE FLOWING so that it is evident as we are to eat a chicken sandwich in the name of "free speech."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Be sure to read my husband's post on the same topic. We have the same view but he approaches it from a slightly different angle.

keeping cool

and I'm not talking about turning on the AC! 

{I know it's been a while since I said, Hi! I trust and pray anyone still visiting is doing well!}

Sometimes, I feel like Anne Shirley: "if only you knew all I wanted to say and didn't maybe you'd give me little credit." {smiles} But there are seriously times I know the only way I can remain quiet is because the Lord puts a stopper on my tongue. But that does not mean my "cool" is under control!

...that we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;  but speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things... Ephesians 4:14,15

"what did you say?"

We must always speak the truth! but this verse also tells us to speak "in love." This is a wonderful principle to hold fast to, as I have found that when the truth is spoken in haste, without love, it does so much more damage then not speaking at all. This seems to hold true in all situations. 

When correcting my children it is necessary, on many occasions, for me to take a moment and find that love from Christ before speaking. Otherwise I will speak words I should not or with a tone that is not appropriate. I will not grow into Him in all things if I speak harshly.

When telling others of Jesus' love for them, I cannot get huffy or defensive when I am attacked-and truly, it is not ME they are attacking or questioning. It is Jesus Himself. This ought to invoke our pity, not our wrath. I will be as a child, tossed and carried about by the devil's craftiness, if I get defensive and prickly about another questioning the gospel.

{love this face!}

Have you ever been corrected? Who hasn't??!! Even now, as a "mature" adult person [LOL] when another points out a fault or wrongdoing, my reaction [always my own responsibility! {Romans 14:12}] is greatly based on their attitude.

If I am approached in love, I will be less likely to respond childishly. If I do not perceive a loving spirit {KEY: they must realize you are speaking in love!}, I often do respond in a less mature manner [read: get defensive and prickly]. How much MORE defensive do you think an unsaved person or immature Christian would be if we do not approach them in love?

This truth is also relevant when people say unkind or untrue things about us or our family! When we find out, do we respond with the truth IN LOVE? or do we lash out in defensive anger? Being upset about lies is not wrong. Being sad about unkindness is not wrong. But we must respond IN LOVE when speaking the truth to combat the unkindness or untruth! So, when I realize that I cannot respond in love, I often [should be ALWAYS!} simply do not say anything at all.

Our children learn how to initiate and respond from watching us. Whether we are interacting with our spouse, one of their siblings or an adult friend, they see and comprehend so much more than you think.

Let us "KEEP our COOL" and ask the Lord to set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3, because ...there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. Psalm 139:4.

preserve. guide. bless.

Psalm 25:21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee.

Proverbs 11:3 The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them.

Proverbs 19:1 Better is the poor that walketh in his integrity, than he that is perverse in his lips, and is a fool.

Proverbs 20:7 The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.

Apparently, integrity is something that can guide us. can preserve us. can bless our children. It is on the same level as uprightness. better than having riches.

I want integrity.

I want my children to have integrity!! 

integrity: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; the condition of being unified, unimpaired, or sound in construction; internal consistency or lack of corruption in electronic data

When most of us think of integrity in people, we probably are thinking of the first part of the definition: being honest and having strong moral principles. 

Are we honest? Obviously, we should not speak our whole mind about others or to others [Proverbs 29:11 A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.].

But sometimes we are not even honest with ourselves. We say we do not care what others think. but we do. AND we SHOULD. We should care what others think, but only to the extent of HONESTLY examining our own lives and actions. 

To care about what others think does not mean I will compromise the cause of Christ. and my children need to understand that, too.

I must not brush aside when others correct my children or make known a fault [no matter if it is done rudely or tastefully]. I must teach my children how to handle correction. with humility and honesty.

But also, we must deal honestly with others. Speak honestly. Pay attention that we do not take advantage of others' generosity. Keep watch that our children learn this.

 

Even further, are we honest with God? in our opportunities to witness. with using the talents He has given us. in our giving. Only an individual can examine his own heart, but we must also remember that others see our actions. [We should care what others think, but only to the extent of HONESTLY examining our own lives and actions.]

Beyond being honest, do we have a Biblical sense of morality? I stress Biblical because today's morality is changed from the morality my parents grew up with. We cannot flow with society in this.

Do I teach my children what the Bible says about right and wrong? Do I teach them consequences? If not, they will have a rude awakening one day. Do I give them an example of truthfulness and responsibility?

Simple ethics and expectations of good behavior, a Biblical sense of justice and modest propriety seem to be a thing of by-gone days. 


But as mothers, we can help CHANGE that!
     by TEACHING our children to have integrity.

{learning} how to fall

We read this story in our devotion book the other evening: {I will paraphrase some of it}

Little Sammy had to wear leg braces because he had polio. He fell often but still wanted to attend school. One day he fell down the steps and his teacher rushed over to see if he was ok. 

"Sammy, are you hurt?"

Sammy SMILED up at her and said:  

 "No, I've learned HOW TO FALL."

As people saved by grace, we need to learn how to fall. 

First. We must realize that we WILL fall. There is sin in this world, still residing in our hearts. Falling is inevitable.

and

Second. No one ever falls all. by. himself. There are consequences. If I am a child of God, His chastisement will remind me; and more than likely, there will be at least 1 human who notices also. Our actions affects other people.

BUT there is grace for every time.

And I must learn that it is not the fall that will destroy me. It is how I handle it. I must allow God to work in my life. 

God can use any fall to bring Him glory if we are seeking His face- searching for Him.

And that is learning how to fall.

Always into His waiting arms of grace, picking us up, helping us make it right, strengthening us to apologize, supporting us, allowing us another opportunity to make it right, giving us grace to learn through the consequences.

{searching} for ME

{my heart--convicted recently... sharing}

Have you ever heard the expression "I just need to find myself"? 

Maybe you have been there, searching for who you are. leaving family and just looking. searching God's creation for YOU.

Or maybe you have not physically left your life in this pursuit. but emotionally there are days when you are "checked out" and unavailable. [I am pointing any  fingers at myself!]

People searching. hunting. rummaging. pursuing. for SELF. {Who am I?}

a quest of self-discovery.

Our world is filled with these people. We have a pre-occupation with SELF.

And God says we are FOOLS.

A fool hath no delight in understanding, 

but that his heart may discover itself. 

Proverbs 18:2

Being a Wife is a full-time responsibility. being a Mommy is hard work. You know this. We don't have time to "find ourselves." [and if we tried, that would make us fools!] We do not have time to be "checked out."

 BUT

We don't have to. 

If Jesus has you, then you ARE found. {JOY}

Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost. Luke 15:6

 we are   {FOUND}

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand. I and my Father are one. John 10:27-30

we are  {OWNED}

I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me. Proverbs 8:17

we are  {LOVED}

 

I must REST in HIM. in WHO He is. in what He has done for me. in what He can do through me.

...and be contented in knowing that where I am is not where I will always be.

I pray you have a BLESSED weekend!

When I first began this blog, I had a sequence of posts started about who and what I am in Christ. I will be {prayerfully} be continuing them for the next few months and posting them on Fridays. Because HE is... I can be!

live a {beautiful} life

One of my favorite quotes that can motivate me to have and seek the proper spirit each day is:

Duty makes us do things well, 

but Love makes us do them beautifully.

I love beauty. a clean table, dresser drawers closed neatly, covers pulled up to the bed pillows, toys in their home, children playing together, a lovely kiss when he comes home. 

And each of these situations can occur every day. but just because they happen does not mean there is beauty in HOW they were done.

It is the love of God in my heart that causes me to accomplish these tasks beautifully. to enjoy the moment. to take pleasure even when the chaos ensues.

to live a beautiful life.

[I Corinthains 13]