being MY husband's wife

There are so many posts out there that talk about being a wife the way God intended. There are a few posts about that on this blog. 

But today I am going to tell you a few things I have personally learned about being the wife my husband praises {wow! that sounds boastful, but his praises are how I know I have done something right! so I am going to share what that has been recently}. 
**And just because my husband has noticed these things does NOT mean I can give them up as "accomplished"! I still struggle with these -and so much more- every. single. day.**

 

1. being intentionally "beautiful" for him. dressing more for his eyes. {I know that might sound like I think I'm pretty, but really, I just mean that what he enjoys about my wardrobe has become more of my focus when I dress & shop}

When I keep my hubby's likes in the forefront of my thoughts when dressing for the day, I find there are a few items of clothing that really need to go! And when I allow it to influence what I buy, I feel better about spending a few dollars on my wardrobe. I also find that I feel more feminine knowing that there is a man out there that appreciates the way I look {smiles}. 

**Have you ever asked your husband what clothing he likes on you? or just taken note of his expressive reaction to your outfit?

2. making our supper daily. and usually it is edible. {smiles}

I try to make note of the meals he eats quickly and those he gives me some "direction" on... and take the direction as a gentle reminder that I am not the only one eating the food I prepare! While I do try to make our food as nutritionally healthy as possible, sometimes I just try to make something I know he thinks is YUMMY! because HE is my #1! 

**Do you let your husband occasionally criticize your food with an open mind {and heart!}? It's not easy sometimes, but it can show him your love.

3. allowing God to work in my heart. {if he can notice it, it must not be my imagination that God is working. and He has shown me some ugly things about myself recently}

When I ask and then allow God to show me that ugliness called SELF in my heart and then also allow Him to work a change in my life, it makes me a more pleasant person {just trust me on that if you have never experienced it}. And living with a woman who has a pleasant disposition is at least part of EVERY man's dream! {smiles} Yes, it IS hard sometimes. It is painful to know... sometimes agonizing to admit... that I am wrong. that things I have thought and acted on were just not right. not Godly. not Christlike.
But when I have allowed God to work and I have humbly told my husband that I know this or that was wrong and will you please forgive me, there is such a freedom that comes. And usually he turns right around and tells me that he realizes it was not all my fault.

** When you have conflict with your husband, do you ever honestly asked God to reveal your own fault in the situation? and then talked humbly and openly with your husband about it?

I pray these thoughts are encouraging to someone today! 

being part of:

{10 reasons} I'm thankful to be a SAHW&M

When we found out we were expecting our first child, I had no other thought but that I would stop working outside the home and become a stay-at-home-mom. My husband and I never really sat down and talked it through [we should have!], but that was his desire for me as well. 

In the years since I have realized many things about myself. The most glaringly evident being that I am not a very good housekeeper {I do smile at this, so you can too!}. But I love my husband and my children, and here are some reasons I am thankful to stay home each day.

[in no particular order]

1. My younger children can sleep until their bodies are ready to wake up [which is usually early enough!]

2. I can influence what goes into their minds each day.

3. We can learn how to keep a home. together! [they will probably be better than I am before they are teenagers!]

4. I have more opportunity to create meals from 'scratch' and have learned a little about nutrition and health.

5. I am available to my husband at any time to help with any project he has.

6. I am available to pick up my child from school if she were to be ill. and I do not have to worry about loosing my job in order to stay home to care for my children if they are sick.

7. I can spend time learning something new--such as how to make food from scratch and how to use and organize a schedule!

8. I have opportunity to help with different ministries [on occasion] in our church that I could not if I held an 'outside job'.

9. In all honesty, I simply enjoy being at home [most days] and just loving on my kids and preparing for hubby and big sister to come home.

10. But the main reason for my being thankful for the opportunity to stay home is that I have realized just how important it really is. I will not go into all the detail of what and how... but only recently have I truly understood the importance of my role as a wife ...and then a mother... and been able to find contentment [with God's help] in learning how to be.

FOLLOWING THIS YEAR LONG BLOG HOP:

and beginning this Wednesday I will be posting 

something  "wifey" and prayerfully encouraging!!

the last Wednesday of each month for the rest of the year.

answering {simple} questions .3

As before, I must preface this by saying that only if you as the parent/adult are already saved  

can you truly answer a child's questions regarding salvation. 

Only God can guide your words to speak appropriately.

read part 1 here

read part 2 here

6. How does being saved take your sins away? 

and

 7. Can a person be saved without asking Jesus?

I'm taking notes, Momma!

{I have not personally ever heard small children ask these questions, and some of these thoughts may be a little hard for very small children to understand, but I pray this can be a launching point for your own study into how to answer your own sweet babies.}

When you understand that you have sin in your heart and believe what the Bible says about why we have to be saved to live with God in heaven and you make the choice to ask Jesus to save you , then Jesus takes away your sin. He does that by being a substitute. When you do wrong, you have to be punished. But if someone else takes your punishment [maybe a friend gets a spanking or put in time-out FOR you], that is a SUBSTITUTE. that friend takes your wrong as his own responsibility,  and that is what Jesus did for us! When He came to live on earth as a baby and then grew up without ever sinning and then died on the cross, He became our SUBSTITUTE. Because he was not guilty of any sin, as we are, God allowed Him to take our punishment. He took the responsibility for our sins.

The Bible tells us very plainly that no one can enter heaven without accepting Jesus' SUBSTITUTION. In John 14:6, Jesus said: No man cometh unto the Father [lives with Him in heaven] but by me [trusting Jesus]. And in Acts 4:12, the Bible tells us this about Jesus: Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name [JESUS] under heaven given among men whereby we must be saved. We cannot be good enough or go to a certain church or be baptized to help us get to heaven. Jesus is the only path that leads to living with God in heaven forever.

Some Scripture Reading:

I Corinthians 15:3,4

II Corinthians 5:17-21
Galatians 4:3-7
Ephesians 2:4-9

Titus 2:11-14

{There are many more Scripture passages that deal with all of these salvation questions, and only individual Bible study can help you find them all. I have only tried to include a few passages to help you get started.}

preserve. guide. bless.

Psalm 25:21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee.

Proverbs 11:3 The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them.

Proverbs 19:1 Better is the poor that walketh in his integrity, than he that is perverse in his lips, and is a fool.

Proverbs 20:7 The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.

Apparently, integrity is something that can guide us. can preserve us. can bless our children. It is on the same level as uprightness. better than having riches.

I want integrity.

I want my children to have integrity!! 

integrity: the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; the condition of being unified, unimpaired, or sound in construction; internal consistency or lack of corruption in electronic data

When most of us think of integrity in people, we probably are thinking of the first part of the definition: being honest and having strong moral principles. 

Are we honest? Obviously, we should not speak our whole mind about others or to others [Proverbs 29:11 A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.].

But sometimes we are not even honest with ourselves. We say we do not care what others think. but we do. AND we SHOULD. We should care what others think, but only to the extent of HONESTLY examining our own lives and actions. 

To care about what others think does not mean I will compromise the cause of Christ. and my children need to understand that, too.

I must not brush aside when others correct my children or make known a fault [no matter if it is done rudely or tastefully]. I must teach my children how to handle correction. with humility and honesty.

But also, we must deal honestly with others. Speak honestly. Pay attention that we do not take advantage of others' generosity. Keep watch that our children learn this.

 

Even further, are we honest with God? in our opportunities to witness. with using the talents He has given us. in our giving. Only an individual can examine his own heart, but we must also remember that others see our actions. [We should care what others think, but only to the extent of HONESTLY examining our own lives and actions.]

Beyond being honest, do we have a Biblical sense of morality? I stress Biblical because today's morality is changed from the morality my parents grew up with. We cannot flow with society in this.

Do I teach my children what the Bible says about right and wrong? Do I teach them consequences? If not, they will have a rude awakening one day. Do I give them an example of truthfulness and responsibility?

Simple ethics and expectations of good behavior, a Biblical sense of justice and modest propriety seem to be a thing of by-gone days. 


But as mothers, we can help CHANGE that!
     by TEACHING our children to have integrity.

answering {simple} questions .2

As before, I must preface this by saying that only if you as the parent/adult are already saved  

can you truly answer a child's questions regarding salvation. 

Only God can guide your words to speak appropriately.

read part 1 here

3. Why does a person need to be saved? 

4. What is sin?

and  

5. How old does a person have to be to get saved?

How can I understand, Mom?

The Bible tells us that every person has sin in his heart. We also learn from studying God's Word that God cannot have sin in heaven, and if we keep sin in our heart He cannot hear our prayers [except for the prayer of salvation] or allow us into Heaven to be with Him.  We have to ask Jesus to wash away the sin in our heart to have God take us to heaven.

Simply put, sin is breaking God's Law. Another simple explanation of sin is "anything that I may think, say, or do that does not please God." some examples are: lying, hitting, disobeying, thinking mean thoughts. {Be specific when dealing with your own children. Give examples of things you know they have done that are sin.}

If you know the difference between right and wrong and you understand that there are consequences to doing wrong, then you are old enough to be saved. There is no specific age that God says, "You cannot be saved before you are xxx years old." But neither is there an age that God says, "All people are old enough after they are xxx years old."  {If your child is asking these questions, it is possible that they are indeed ready to make the decision to ask Jesus to save them. But this is an area where parents must ask God for wisdom in guiding each individual child.}

some Scripture reading: [again] John 3; 14:6; 
Romans 3:23; 5:6-21

Next week's questions: How does being saved take your sins away? / Can a person be saved without asking Jesus?

 

Happy Valentine's Day

My Dear Sweet Man,

~ us ~ 2012 ~

I thank God for you. I am blessed to awake in the same home as you and know that you are there. I know your love is there and that your forgiveness has been just as constant as your love. 

Thank you for going to work each day. Thank you for coming home, too. usually in time for supper {smiles}. Thank you for wanting to spend time with your family above others. Thank you for loving our children with discipline and instruction as well as hugs and kisses and tickles. Thank you for all you do to ensure that our family stays together and that we serve God together, too. 

You are truly the best thing that ever happened in my life apart from accepting Christ. I pray the Lord allows us many more years together [or simply comes back!!]

...Grow old with me. the best is yet to be!!!

different perspective

on those trials we face.

{from the archives}

Isaiah 55:8

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

 neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.   

I read the evotion from Christian Womanhood yesterday and could not get away from this thought. So, I will share it in my own words (the actual content is copyrighted).

Do you ever just grab your child and give him or her a bear hug? You know. One of those 'squeeze so hard 'til they squirm' hugs that are usually reciprocated with 'aw, Mom, please let go!' 

As mothers, we enjoy having our children in our arms - this particular squeeze is often more of a pouring out of our intense-mother-love feelings. Children, when faced with these embraces, find them restricting and annoying. They just want to be free to continue their play. 

These hugs don't last long to us, but to our children they may seem to go on f.o.r.e.v.e.r. They want to feel our love through sitting down to read a book or getting a new toy. We want them to feel our love in the {sometimes breathtaking} embrace of our hugs.

What if the trials that grow us (not the chastisement that comes when needed) are God's BEAR HUGS? God's ways are so far above ours. We feel His love when we look around us and see physical things. a house. a loving husband. sleeping children. a car. But God is not materialistic. He wants to know we need Him {really,  He wants US to know we need Him}... this is how He feels our love. And He feels our love when we cry out to Him during times of growing trials.

And, just as our children eventually {hopefully} learn to just be still and 'take it' when we grab them, may we learn to be still and know that He is God. No matter what is going on, He loves us. And the times of God's bear hugs are not really as long as they seem when we're in them.

Psalm 46:10a, Be still, and know that I am God.

{previously posted on September 28, 2010}

answering {simple} questions .1

I must preface this by saying that only if you as the parent/adult are already saved  

can you truly answer a child's questions regarding salvation. 

Only God can guide your words to speak appropriately.

1. What does it mean to be "saved"?

and

2. How does Jesus come into our hearts?

These answers will be written the way that I would address a small child [under age 5]. Children can understand so much, but we must also be aware of just how literal they are!

because one day they will need to know how to hold God's hand!

"Saved" means that you have asked Jesus to come into your heart and wash away the sin. [This does not mean that another person is going to come into your body. It is not something we can see.] This is also called being "born again." 

This also means that you have Everlasting Life. which means that when you die you will go to heaven to live with God. Those who understand this and choose not to "get saved" will not go to heaven but hell when they die-living an eternal death.

Jesus will only save you or come into your heart if you ask Him to. He then becomes a part of your life and He can help you in your mind to choose to do right instead of wrong. He can help you think good thoughts and be nice to others. He can help you be strong enough to help others {such as a younger brother or sister} choose to do right, too. 

some Scripture reading: John 3:1-21 [especially: 16,17] 
and Acts 2:21 & 10:13; 16:30-33.

Next week's questions: Why does a person need to be saved? / What is sin? and How old does a person have to be to get saved?

 

linked up at:

ourSimpleCountryLife/hearts-4-home 

raisingmightyarrows/proverbs-31-thursdays 

{learning} how to fall

We read this story in our devotion book the other evening: {I will paraphrase some of it}

Little Sammy had to wear leg braces because he had polio. He fell often but still wanted to attend school. One day he fell down the steps and his teacher rushed over to see if he was ok. 

"Sammy, are you hurt?"

Sammy SMILED up at her and said:  

 "No, I've learned HOW TO FALL."

As people saved by grace, we need to learn how to fall. 

First. We must realize that we WILL fall. There is sin in this world, still residing in our hearts. Falling is inevitable.

and

Second. No one ever falls all. by. himself. There are consequences. If I am a child of God, His chastisement will remind me; and more than likely, there will be at least 1 human who notices also. Our actions affects other people.

BUT there is grace for every time.

And I must learn that it is not the fall that will destroy me. It is how I handle it. I must allow God to work in my life. 

God can use any fall to bring Him glory if we are seeking His face- searching for Him.

And that is learning how to fall.

Always into His waiting arms of grace, picking us up, helping us make it right, strengthening us to apologize, supporting us, allowing us another opportunity to make it right, giving us grace to learn through the consequences.

{searching} for ME

{my heart--convicted recently... sharing}

Have you ever heard the expression "I just need to find myself"? 

Maybe you have been there, searching for who you are. leaving family and just looking. searching God's creation for YOU.

Or maybe you have not physically left your life in this pursuit. but emotionally there are days when you are "checked out" and unavailable. [I am pointing any  fingers at myself!]

People searching. hunting. rummaging. pursuing. for SELF. {Who am I?}

a quest of self-discovery.

Our world is filled with these people. We have a pre-occupation with SELF.

And God says we are FOOLS.

A fool hath no delight in understanding, 

but that his heart may discover itself. 

Proverbs 18:2

Being a Wife is a full-time responsibility. being a Mommy is hard work. You know this. We don't have time to "find ourselves." [and if we tried, that would make us fools!] We do not have time to be "checked out."

 BUT

We don't have to. 

If Jesus has you, then you ARE found. {JOY}

Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost. Luke 15:6

 we are   {FOUND}

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand. I and my Father are one. John 10:27-30

we are  {OWNED}

I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me. Proverbs 8:17

we are  {LOVED}

 

I must REST in HIM. in WHO He is. in what He has done for me. in what He can do through me.

...and be contented in knowing that where I am is not where I will always be.

I pray you have a BLESSED weekend!

When I first began this blog, I had a sequence of posts started about who and what I am in Christ. I will be {prayerfully} be continuing them for the next few months and posting them on Fridays. Because HE is... I can be!

{teaching} with evidence

When children see evidence of God's importance in Daddy's and Mommy's lives  and are trained to also be involved, it becomes a part of their lives. 

There is a marked difference in the attitudes of children towards authority between those who are taught that God is Important and those who are left to figure things out on their own [Proverbs 28:26; 29:15]. 

Children must be continually exposed to God and His Word and His Love and commands in order for them to become a part of their lives. 

If God is important to us as parents it will be evident to our children when they are in Sunday School every week and when we read the Bible [even just a verse and explain it] with them each day and when we pray for the difficulties we face and when we praise Him for all things. It will be evident when we participate in the ministries of our church or go out of our way to be helpful to those in need.

Children with parents who are passionate about "being green" learn how to recycle and repurpose, because their parents DO it. Those whose parents are avid about "organic food" will learn about the nutritional value of different foods and the negative effects of pesticides and processing, etc because their parents are DOing something. Those who are fervent in their quest of an organized home & life teach their children the importance of everything having its own home and putting it there by always having them put things away as well as DOing it themselves.

In the same manner, parents who are are dedicated lovers of God WILL teach their children who God is. We will prove that He is our Creator and that He is to be revered and praised and worshiped and served with our whole life. with our actions.

The Good Wife's Guide {review}

book review

When I volunteered to read The Good Wife's Guide {with a foreword by Candace Cameron Bure} to offer a review of it, I was truly honored {read: *tickled purple*-I like purple better than pink} that the author responded and was willing for me to do so.

Darlene has genuinely taken to heart the passage in Titus 2 that instructs ...teach the young women... in this book about Embracing your Role as a Help Meet.

In a concise, easy-to-read format, Darlene lays out basic Biblical guidelines that will leave a Christian lady with the necessary tools in her heart and mind to be "the good wife."

If you are looking for sound, Scriptural advice about what God's intent of a help meet looks like and if you desire to learn from plain talk and practical advice, then this is a must read.

Some topics found:

*using your strengths and 

managing your weaknesses

*managing your time 

and making priorities

*truth about what submission is 

and a wife's role

*basic truths on mothering 

and practical ideas

*realistic methods of  creating schedules 

and routines for cleaning

*encouragement that being the woman God created you to be 

is so much more!

If you are [or know of!] a young lady contemplating marriage, this is an excellent resource. As a young mother approaching 9 years of marriage, this book helped me reinforce those areas I am doing the right thing as well as spotlight [in an encouraging manner] some things that need some work {smiles}.

The Good Wife's Guide will be an uplifting and helpful read to any Christian lady seeking to be a better wife [which I have found leads to being a better mommy, too!].

The author, Darlene Schacht,  is a sweet lady [that I have never actually met] whose humble spirit and graceful charm are evident in her blog Time-Warp-Wife.

In her own words [from her blog bio]:
I cherish vintage values, and yet I understand they are simply a means to an end. Yes they are to be cherished, but unless I couple those values with strong conviction based upon the Word of God and what is right in His sight, they are nothing but tradition, custom and practice. 

As a Christian, I accept the Word of God to be true, and each time I apply it to my life I quickly discover that there is a good reason God put it there. His wisdom exceeds mine.
Does this mean that I am a doormat to my husband or that I’m compromising my beliefs in any way? Absolutely not—I’m reinforcing them. I’m living out my faith which is backed by belief. I’m happily choosing to be my husband’s helper because faith powers every decision I make.
I believe that I was created with purpose, and in living out our purpose we discover a peace which passes all understanding through Jesus Christ our Lord.

*I received a free copy of this eBook 

with the intent of writing a review. 

There is no affiliate link, but please click the picture

if you desire to purchase this book.

giveaway closed

GIVEAWAY GOING ON HERE:

through February 15 {2012}

You can also visit Darlene online at

for Godly wisdom spoken with vintage charm.