when the season is called 'wait'

We all have "big things" that happen in our life. Most people call them milestones--though between them is often much longer than a mile! Some of these may include marriage and college graduation, getting a job in your career field, becoming a mother, buying a new home or a myriad of other events. Days and months leading to these momentous junctures often give us a sense of purpose. a motivation to get up. an intention for our day.

But what happens in the between times. 

the wait? 

What is the reason for getting up each and every day with no change on the horizon? 

I have, on occasion, struggled with that. And I have noticed others struggle with it also. perhaps someone engaged in an occupation that was not their "goal" when they finished college or a mother of young children or a family simply struggling to make ends meet. 

and I have thought, in those between times, "Is this really God's will for my life?"

BUT THAT IS THE WRONG QUESTION!

Of course, when the baby has messed all over and there are crayon markings on the wall, that is NOT the rest of my life. or yours. And when your vocation is not what was intended upon college enrollment, that is NOT the rest of your life.

But it is where you are. now. and our question should be:

Lord, what is your will for my life---today?

For me, today is about loving my children. preparing food. washing laundry. kissing my husband. encouraging a friend.

For you, today is about DOING whatever is required of you-be it as a SAHM, a teacher, a store clerk.... whatever! and doing it with your whole heart as unto the Lord! And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. Colossians 3:23,24 

Be a godly example of obedience to those under you AND those above you! Make wise decisions. And WAIT. 

because we never "arrive" at the rest of our life! 

Today is also about renewing my strength, preparing my soul for what lies ahead. But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 

The Psalms are full of verses about waiting. sometimes the author was pleading for help and sometimes he was simply weary of waiting. sometimes he was calm and content and sometimes he was not. but still, he waited.

Psalm 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. [why would he need courage if he were doing nothing during his waiting?]

WAIT, but don't stop LIVING and SERVING while you wait!

[On a more personal note, this spring has become quite busy in our family! We are in the midst of getting our garden prepared, and I have several obligations that are taking my time. For the next month or six weeks posts are likely to be very sporadic. I pray all continues well with those of you who stop by, and please visit around my previous posts as well as the {KINDRED} BLOGS blog roll on the sidebar!!]

is my help destructive?

As parents, our natural instinct is to protect our children. from all evil and harm. and that is part of a parent's responsibility. 

But another part is to teach and train. And this is where the protection instinct needs to step aside at times [oh, how hard that is!].

When our children are very small, we [parents] are pretty much the only ones who correct and discipline our children. teaching manners, kindness, and self-control with love and patience [sometimes begging God for that proper spirit].

But when my children are older and leave me every day to attend school or go to an age-appropriate Sunday school or even just go to a friends house for an afternoon, what do I teach them about authority? about responsibility? about respect?

It mostly stems from how I react to others correcting my child. [it also is learned by how I respect/obey my own authority-but that's another post].

I must realize that my child is a sinner [aren't we all? Romans 3:23] and he/she WILL do wrong. and need correction. at school or a friend's house. even in children's church. 

And in order to teach them respect for authority, I must be willing to allow other people to have authority and correct my child. And I, as the parent, must also be willing to enforce their obedience to that other authority. Otherwise I will be teaching my child that I, the parent, can take their responsibility of obedience on my own shoulders. and one day she would have a very rude awakening.

Galatians 6:7,8- Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. [We will all reap the consequences from our OWN actions. and we must TEACH this truth to our children.]

If I do not teach the reality of consequences---

Romans 4:11,12- As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God. [we are each responsible for our own actions]

and

I Peter 4: 3-5- For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries:  wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you: who shall give account to him that is ready to judge the quick and the dead. [there will be those who do not understand when we choose to live differently, but God will judge]

---then, when our children are all grown up, they will likely continue to expect Dad and Mom to bail them out when they have done wrong. and will probably live as though you can bail them out in heaven, too.

And here is the point: 

There comes a time [earlier than you might expect and years before they become a teenager!] when I cannot and should not protect my children from themselves. and the consequences of their actions. This is how they learn responsibility and integrity.

Deliverance 
before a lesson is learned 
is DESTRUCTIVE.

 and I do not want to destroy the most precious gifts God has given me!

 

{Esther} the lady "come for such a time as this"

Darlene [author of The Good Wife's Guide (my review)] from Time-Warp-Wife is beginning a 3 week series on the book of Esther today. 

I am excited! Esther is my oldest girl's middle name because she is my absolute favorite lady in the Bible. such courage and wisdom. 

    So, read Esther 1 and click over to Darlene's blog for some insightful thoughts and questions. I am looking forward to reading through this book and her blog posts this month [on my favorite book... during the month of my birthday! what an awesome gift.]

I pray this is a BLESSED Monday for you all!

where modesty begins

I have found that many people, when they see that someone is going to talk/write about modesty, completely tune out because they think the subject is going to be pants and tight clothing. our bodily coverings.  but it isn't.

Modesty was something greatly stressed as "what you wear" to girls in the churches I grew up in. It was not something I really studied for myself until my husband and I had our first child. Our first child is a girl.

After the initial reaction of I don't want to dress her in all pink and all lace and only frills [I know. I'm not the normal girly-mom and her favorite color is now pink!], I became more practical in my thoughts and began contemplating just how WOULD we dress her? 

lol. I'm wearing pink!---my sweet girl

Cute, trendy clothing is hard to be immune to. Classic clothing is not synonymous with modest. and modest clothing is really, REALLY hard to find. and my first THREE children are girls!

When they were infants, it was so simple. cute dresses. ruffly bloomers. But I knew that when they were a little older it would be time to address covering ones' self modestly. and how.

and then why? and...


what is modesty, anyway? so let's start there.

[I am no expert. This is simply what the Lord has taught me through personal Bible study and Godly influences.]

modesty: behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency

some synonyms to help: unassuming, meek, decent, ladylike, pure, innocent, sedate

In order to guide my girl's into having a modest appearance, I must address behavior and manner {attitude} because modesty is so much more than the clothing we wear on our bodies {as the Lord is so patiently teaching me.}

this one keeps my laughing!

This verse is the only place I find in Scripture that puts the two [modest & clothing] together:
In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel... [I Timothy 2:9]. and there appears to be an order here. We must be 'in like manner' before we will adorn ourselves in modest apparel.

Going back to verses 1-8 [please feel free to go find your Bible!] we see reference to giving thanks,  praying for all men, living quietly and peaceably, lifting holy hands to pray, living in honesty, desiring to see people saved--in THAT like manner.

True, Godly modest apparel will only follow praying for others and quiet living. and giving thanks and living honestly. It follows a proper behavior and manner of life. which can only come from a personal relationship with Christ. [am I first teaching my children to love God with the intent of leading them to salvation?]

Then. how do I teach my girls to have modest behavior and manner of life? {as in, what is my goal? because I fail every. single. day.} I must [attempt to] model it [this requires personal Bible study and seeking God's face in prayer to BE MORE LIKE CHRIST.]

point out other ladies who also model it.

speak plainly yet gently & privately when they notice those who are NOT behaving with modesty. because they will notice.

So, now. what IS modest behavior? {by definition} being decent, ladylike, sedate & pure. in my actions. speech. responses. facial expressions. body language. with a proper attitude.

...Does my reaction in a stressful situation bring added stress? Am I known as the one who will roll her eyes when others stray off course? Do I speak so loudly that everyone around knows my family's conversation? Do I have an attitude that publicly conveys my personal disapproval about things that are none of my business? [in essence, do I strive to be seen? to make my thoughts and opinions the center of attention?]

OR

...is my speech quiet. gentle. unassuming? [only when I am conscious of Him.] are my responses in a stressful environment relaxed. composed. calming? {Christ-like?} [ugh.] when others' actions are distasteful, am I the one who points others away? looking for the good. directing the focus elsewhere. [only if I remember that I am no better!]

{LOVE} this face

I will never be accomplished in this modest behavior or attitude. Though saved by grace, I am still a sinner. But I strive for it. It must be a conscious decision each day. a prayer on my lips. I have to be purposeful. I must point my children to Christ... so they can also point others to Him 
because modesty is so much more than the clothing we wear on our bodies.

Modesty is how we cover our heart. 

with Christ. 

His love. 

His humility. 

His kindness. 

His graciousness. 

While people do judge our outward appearance, and Christian women have need to "dress modestly," it is a lie if our heart is not covered by Him. and continually addressing the "issue of  modest clothing" to young girls still learning to follow Christ in their own hearts will not draw them towards the like manner also, which must come first because modesty is so much more than the clothing we wear on our bodies. {yes, i said it again. I think I may need to read that over and over for myself!}